Post-Acute Voluntary Kinetic Deficiency

[intro - insect foley chaos with acid tease] [vinyl crackle, chaotic insect sounds: buzzing flies, clicking beetles, chirping crickets layered rhythmically] [distant tb-303 acid tease slides in, playful synth stabs enter] [male vocal - rural southern drawl, spoken] well now... let me tell ya 'bout ol' jebediah... had himself a situation... with the doc... and the wife... and a whole lotta nothin'... [verse 1 - the complaint, frantic amen breaks] [full amen breaks drop, tb-303 squelchy, playful synth stabs, rural vocal with comedic timing] he sat down in that chair, it creaked like a mule said "doc, i'm broken, i ain't no good for nothin', i'm a fool used to haul them hay bales, used to chop them logs used to outrun my hound dog through them muddy fog now i can't lift a hammer, can't swing an axe can't even carry them groceries back from the shack my wife, she's worryin', says i'm losin' my mind but i reckon somethin's wrong, doc, somethin' ain't right" [buzzing flies accent] he wiped his brow with a rag said "doc, i'm feelin' lag... somethin's broke me, doc... somethin's took my spark..." [insect break - tb-303 solo with chaotic foley] [amen breaks strip to just kick, tb-303 takes over with squelchy acid solo, insects go wild: buzzing, clicking, chirping layered rhythmically] [tb-303 sliding notes mimic insect sounds] [16 bars of pure acid chaos with rural fiddle tease in background] [spoken - doctor dialogue, intimate, comedic pause] [beat drops to just sub-bass pulse + insect foley, close-mic vocal, deadpan delivery] now the doc... he looked at this fella... real long... real serious... checked his knees... checked his eyes... listened to his chest... and then he says... [beat stops completely, only one cricket chirps] "well, jebediah... in plain english... you're just lazy..." [beat stops completely, single cricket chirp] [chorus 1 - acid drop with singalong, playful] [full arrangement, tb-303 prominent, amen breaks frantic, supersaw leads euphoric, rural vocal singalong] jebediah, he sat there, real quiet for a minute then he nodded his head, said "alright, doc, i'm in it but here's the thing, doc, my wife, she's waitin' she's gonna ask me what the doc said, what's my fate in so give me the medical term, doc, give me the fancy word somethin' i can tell the wife, somethin' she ain't heard 'cause if i tell her i'm lazy, she'll kill me dead so gimme that latin, doc, gimme what she said" oh... what's the term... oh... what's the term... give jebediah the term... give him what he earned... [verse 2 - the examination, fuller arrangement] [driving amen breaks, fuller synth layers, tb-303 more aggressive, playful synth stabs, vocal gains warmth] so the doc, he leaned back in his creaky old chair said "now jebediah, listen, i'm gonna be fair i examined your heart, and it's beatin' just fine i examined your lungs, and they're workin' in line your blood pressure's good, your reflexes sharp you could run a marathon, you could play the harp but there's one little thing, son, that i gotta mention it's the reason you're feelin' this here strange sensation" [beetle clicking accent] he tapped his pen on the desk said "jebediah, i confess... it ain't your body that's failin' you, son... it's somethin' else entirely..." [spoken - punchline delivery, deadpan, comedic timing] [beat strips to just kick pulse + single cricket chirp, close-mic vocal, long pause for effect] so the doc... he thinks for a minute... scratches his chin... and he says... "well, jebediah... the medical term... for what you got... is..." [long pause, only one fly buzzing] "post-acute... voluntary... kinetic... deficiency..." [beat drops back in hard] jebediah, he grins... says "thank ya, doc... that's what i'll tell the wife..." [beat stops] "post-acute voluntary kinetic deficiency..." [beat drops again] "ain't that just a fancy way... of sayin' i'm lazy..." [insects go wild] [chorus 2 - variation with ad-libs, wider arrangement] [full euphoric arrangement, wider stereo, more tb-303, layered harmonies, vocal ad-libs between lines] so here's to jebediah, the laziest man in town (in town) with his post-acute voluntary kinetic deficiency crown (his crown) he can't mow the lawn, can't fix the fence, can't even feed the hound (the hound) but he got a fancy medical term, and that's what he's showin' around (showin' around) oh... what's wrong with him... oh... what's wrong with him... he's just lazy, y'all... he's just lazy... post-acute... voluntary... kinetic... deficiency... that's just a fancy way... of sayin'... he's lazy... [outro - insects fade] [beat strips to solo tb-303 + vinyl crackle + insect foley slowly fading] [male vocal - gentle, fading, rural drawl] so remember, folks... if you ever feelin' lazy... just tell your wife... you got... post-acute... voluntary... kinetic... deficiency... [single cricket chirp] and she'll know... exactly... what you mean...