You’re operating heavy machinery without a permit, boy Navigating dating apps like a floor covered in oil That's a slip hazard! THAT'S A SLIP HAZARD!! No guardrails on your heart, just waiting for the fall High voltage ex-lovers left wires exposed in the hall I want to be your OSHA Girlfriend, babe Regulating risks that you take every day Mandatory compliance with a standard of care Zero accidents recorded when I’m here Check the log! Let's talk Lockout/Tagout for that girl on your phone Isolate the energy so you stay in the zone I’m your Personal Protective Equipment, class A Shielding you from toxic fumes and emotional decay According to section 1910, subpart love I’m conducting an audit of the push and the shove No citations issued if you just sign the line A willful violation if you decline to be mine I want to be your OSHA Girlfriend, babe Regulating risks that you take every day Mandatory compliance with a standard of care Zero accidents recorded when I’m here. Check the log! Safety first, darling. Compliance is mandatory. Sign here.
