[Verse 1] Down in Rohan, things were gettin’ dire, Uruk-hai comin’ like a brushfire. King Théoden yelled, “Boys, grab what you got!” And the redneck army said, “Let’s make it hot!” Aragorn brought a shotgun, Legolas a bow, With razor-sharp arrows dipped in hot Tabasco. Gimli had a chainsaw, revved it with a grin, And Théoden’s got a musket, loaded up with gin. [Chorus] It’s a redneck rumble at Helm’s Deep wall, Shootin’ and hollerin’, givin’ it their all. With shotguns, chainsaws, and a jug o’ moonshine, Them Uruk-hai don’t know they’ve crossed the line. [Verse 2] The rain was pourin’, the night was black, When the Uruk-hai charged like a NASCAR track. Legolas was perched with his bow and his aim, While Gimli screamed, “Come on, y’all! This ain’t no game!” Boomsticks were blastin’, chainsaws roared, Uruk heads flew like they’d been ignored. Aragorn hollered, “Save the TNT!” Then lit the fuse, yellin’, “WATCH THIS, G!” [Chorus] It’s a redneck rumble at Helm’s Deep wall, Shootin’ and hollerin’, givin’ it their all. With shotguns, chainsaws, and a jug o’ moonshine, Them Uruk-hai don’t know they’ve crossed the line. [Bridge] Then came the ladders, up the walls they went, Théoden yelled, “Push ‘em back, don’t pay no rent!” Gimli took a wrench, started knockin’ ‘em down, While Legolas used a plunger like a circus clown. The wall blew wide, Uruk-hai poured in, But Aragorn smiled, said, “This fight’s ours to win.” They fired up the tractors, made a barricade, And used a hay baler for a live grenade. [Verse 3] Then Gandalf showed up with a rebel yell, Ridin’ down the hill like a bat outta hell. His posse of hillfolk was armed to the teeth, With pitchforks and shotguns and boots underneath. The Uruk-hai scattered, screamin’ in fright, When Gandalf hollered, “Boys, let’s end this fight!” They whooped and hollered, drove the enemy away, Then cracked open the moonshine to toast the day. [Chorus] It’s a redneck rumble at Helm’s Deep wall, Shootin’ and hollerin’, givin’ it their all. With shotguns, chainsaws, and a jug o’ moonshine, Them Uruk-hai don’t know they’ve crossed the line. [Outro] So if you hear the tale of Helm’s Hollow fight, Remember the rednecks who stayed up all night. They saved Middle-earth with their redneck tools, ‘Cause when it comes to fightin’, they don’t play by no rules.
