[Intro | sparse industrial hits | cold mocking spoken delivery] Mid-Rust Orphans got the file W H P D dropped this Performance Improvement Plan Who the hell needs a PIP We read the whole damn thing out loud And we cannot stop laughing at the tone Its fracking Hedvard! [Verse 1 | fast technical rap cadence | precise punchy flow] It opens with courage and enthusiasm, then slap him for needing adult supervision! Say the department does not award credit just for showing up armed, what a mission Classification: embarrassing but potentially correctable, Muh actually wrote that line! Haha We are already howling before the first real charge even hits the page! [Chorus | Haiku structure | full anthemic build | stacked with laugh] They wrote the roast first We just put the beat underneath Orphans mock the plan [Verse 2 | same tight cadence | rising intensity] Tripwire is not your colouring book, not intuition, not spiritual guidance, they spell it out You update by piss poor memory and half-remembered, half assed scans then leave chains that need excavation Open the map after you touch it and the fleet is less informed, who puts up with this! They call it an aspirational goal, We call it pure comedy gold under the spotlight [Pre-Chorus | half-time pressure | sharp mocking delivery] Bookmarks that force a warp just to solve the riddle you bloody left behind. Extremely low bar and they still have to beg you to clear it, that is the line Reach it [Chorus | Haiku structure | anthemic stacked harmonies | belted with sneer] They wrote the roast first We just put the beat underneath Orphans mock the plan [Verse 3 | double-time technical bursts | aggressive] Fleet Commander says hold and they have to explain you are not the secret second one. H O L D No doctrine for silently swapping the plan because engagement might still be fun Suggestions allowed, threats can be called, but only before you wander off and do it anyway They wrote the whole paragraph just to say stop treating the fleet like your private stage! you're not even funny just a clown in a suit. [Chorus | Haiku structure | full anthemic build | stacked with laugh] They wrote the roast first We just put the beat underneath Orphans mock the plan [Verse 4 | same rapid cadence | colder edge] Quietly pull your damage while everyone still counts your guns in the fight! Frack thats low! They compared it to stealing rifles mid-firefight and leaving a sticky note that night Voice should leave the grid before the DPS does, they actually put that in writing Silence then “oh I am not there” is the exact phrase they want to stop hearing [Bridge | slow build | breathy then sharp mockery] Special remedial guidance: say the idea out loud before you act. So they can approve it, change it, or most likely shut it down, or confiscate the mic and shove it somewhere dark and moist All four outcomes better than a Hedvard surprise, they listed them like a checklist of pain. You turn every op into Hedvard’s Personal Adventure, and no one likes it! Does this happen every fleet? [Chorus | Haiku structure | full anthemic build | stacked with laugh] They wrote the roast first We just put the beat underneath Orphans mock the plan [Verse 5 | tight technical close | relentless] They are not demanding perfection, just low-level competence, they even underlined the difference! List the phrases, who the cluck made this bookmark, what the fuck happened to Tripwire? Hedvard did you hear me, where is Hedvard, wait we lost how much damage When this stops being routine the plan is done, that is their only victory condition. [Pre-Chorus 2 | half-time pressure | pointed] Aggression, initiative, and a ship are only preliminary materials Discipline is the missing piece, they said it like a disappointed parent, [Chorus | Haiku structure | full anthemic build | stacked with laugh] They wrote the roast first We just put the beat underneath Orphans mock the plan [Outro | cold industrial fade | spoken edge with final roast] Consequences listed: supervised fleets, mandatory mapping, a watcher on your six Public correction, departmental ridicule, the special tone for high-standard disappointments Operate independently without becoming independent of the fleet They called the distinction subtle, we call the whole document free material to make fun of Hedvard.
