I woke up with a traffic cone, crown on my head Phone full of messages saying “You’re banned” and “He hit his head” Listen, nobody’s dead, that’s exag-, uuh, exaggeration talk He just tripped dramatically during a friendly walk Gravity’s been aggressive for years and years man, Yeah, that's why he fell down, down the escalator stairs. It wasn’t my fault — it was timing and fate And the universe shoved me a little too late It wasn't my fault It wasn't my fault It wasn't my fault Yes I dropped your laptop into the sink But computers get thirsty more than you think. And when the bus rolled downhill, Nobody mentioned the parking brake’s... free will. Yes, yes, I drove a shopping cart into a cop But the cart had dreams and refused to stop I tried to brake but my hands were full Of philosophy and a sausage roll It wasn't my fault No it wasn't my fault It wasn't my fault If I broke it — it was fragile If it burned — it was flammable If it broke when I touched it — It was broken when I found it. It wasn’t my fault — it was timing and fate And the universe shoved me a little too late It wasn't my fault No it wasn't my fault Trust me man, it wasn't my fault I say, it wasn't my fault!
