The Case of the Cracked Manifold

1950s Radio Noir, Big Band Jazz, Latin Brass, Industrial Garage, Dual Female Vocals, [Female Lead 1: Raspy Alto], [Female Lead 2: Theatrical Soprano], Sarcastic, Spanglish, Sound Effects

V4.5-ALL

[Intro: Crackling radio static]
[Announcer: Booming Baritone]
"Tonight’s episode of Dramatica Detectives is brought to you by Mama Kitty’s Tuna-Crisps: One crunch and the world goes quiet! We find our twin heroines, Claudia and Bianca, deep in the ship's steaming gut..."
[Verse 1: Claudia - Heavy Brass & Industrial Clangs]
[Female Lead 1: Raspy Alto]
¡Carajo! This engine’s got a mind of its own
A rusty old skeleton, a metal-plated bone
I’m elbow-deep in grease and I’m swearing at the sky
While Bianca’s standing by with a twinkle in her eye
I need a wrench, not a bandage, you ridiculous cat
Stop looking at the wires like you’re wearing a hat!
[Verse 2: Bianca - Snappy Swing & Trumpets]
[Female Lead 2: Snappy Soprano]
¡Cálmate, hermanita! The ship’s got a pulse
Her blood pressure’s rising, the results are convulse!
I’ve diagnosed the thrusters with a chronic case of "Slow"
And your mood, dear Claudia, is a "Code Blue" blow
So what if I’m a nurse? I can read a EKG
And this manifold is crying for some feline therapy!
[Pre-Chorus: Both - Harmonized]
[Both Females: High-Contrast Harmonies]
One fixes the heart, one fixes the steel
Drowning in the chaos of a spin and a reel
From the dockside clubs to the surgery floor
The twins are the ones who can’t be ignored!
[Chorus: Big Band Explosion]
[Female Lead 2: Soprano] She’s the punchline!
[Female Lead 1: Alto] She’s the wrench!
[Both] Two sides of a coin in a Spanglish trench!
With a ¡vete al carajo! and a medical pun
The Dramatica twins have only just begun!
On the radio waves, through the static and the stars
Healing up the ship and the comedic scars!
[Bridge: Spoken Twin-Talk over Noir Jazz]
[Claudia: Alto] ¡Qué desmadre! Bianca, you’re dripping espresso in the fuel line!
[Bianca: Soprano] It’s an "energy boost," estúpida. Besides, your swearing is scaring the pistons.
[Claudia: Alto] The pistons don’t have ears!
[Bianca: Soprano] They have feelings! Tarz told me so.
[Claudia: Alto] Tarz is an idiot with a sentient tail. Pass me the spanner.
[Sound of: Clang! and a sudden engine purr]
[Chorus: Big Band Explosion]
[Female Lead 2: Soprano] She’s the punchline!
[Female Lead 1: Alto] She’s the wrench!
[Both] Two sides of a coin in a Spanglish trench!
With a ¡vete al carajo! and a medical pun
The Dramatica twins have only just begun!
On the radio waves, through the static and the stars
Healing up the ship and the comedic scars!
[Outro: Spoken over fading theme music]
[Announcer] Tune in next time to hear Claudia fix a fusion core with a hair-pin, and Bianca diagnose a toaster with "abandonment issues."
[Bianca] ¡Adiós, pendejos!
[Claudia] ¡Cierra la boca!
[Sound of: A radio dial turning to static]
[End]

2688/7500

[Intro: Crackling radio static] [Announcer: Booming Baritone] "Tonight’s episode of Dramatica Detectives is brought to you by Mama Kitty’s Tuna-Crisps: One crunch and the world goes quiet! We find our twin heroines, Claudia and Bianca, deep in the ship's steaming gut..." [Verse 1: Claudia - Heavy Brass & Industrial Clangs] [Female Lead 1: Raspy Alto] ¡Carajo! This engine’s got a mind of its own A rusty old skeleton, a metal-plated bone I’m elbow-deep in grease and I’m swearing at the sky While Bianca’s standing by with a twinkle in her eye I need a wrench, not a bandage, you ridiculous cat Stop looking at the wires like you’re wearing a hat! [Verse 2: Bianca - Snappy Swing & Trumpets] [Female Lead 2: Snappy Soprano] ¡Cálmate, hermanita! The ship’s got a pulse Her blood pressure’s rising, the results are convulse! I’ve diagnosed the thrusters with a chronic case of "Slow" And your mood, dear Claudia, is a "Code Blue" blow So what if I’m a nurse? I can read a EKG And this manifold is crying for some feline therapy! [Pre-Chorus: Both - Harmonized] [Both Females: High-Contrast Harmonies] One fixes the heart, one fixes the steel Drowning in the chaos of a spin and a reel From the dockside clubs to the surgery floor The twins are the ones who can’t be ignored! [Chorus: Big Band Explosion] [Female Lead 2: Soprano] She’s the punchline! [Female Lead 1: Alto] She’s the wrench! [Both] Two sides of a coin in a Spanglish trench! With a ¡vete al carajo! and a medical pun The Dramatica twins have only just begun! On the radio waves, through the static and the stars Healing up the ship and the comedic scars! [Bridge: Spoken Twin-Talk over Noir Jazz] [Claudia: Alto] ¡Qué desmadre! Bianca, you’re dripping espresso in the fuel line! [Bianca: Soprano] It’s an "energy boost," estúpida. Besides, your swearing is scaring the pistons. [Claudia: Alto] The pistons don’t have ears! [Bianca: Soprano] They have feelings! Tarz told me so. [Claudia: Alto] Tarz is an idiot with a sentient tail. Pass me the spanner. [Sound of: Clang! and a sudden engine purr] [Chorus: Big Band Explosion] [Female Lead 2: Soprano] She’s the punchline! [Female Lead 1: Alto] She’s the wrench! [Both] Two sides of a coin in a Spanglish trench! With a ¡vete al carajo! and a medical pun The Dramatica twins have only just begun! On the radio waves, through the static and the stars Healing up the ship and the comedic scars! [Outro: Spoken over fading theme music] [Announcer] Tune in next time to hear Claudia fix a fusion core with a hair-pin, and Bianca diagnose a toaster with "abandonment issues." [Bianca] ¡Adiós, pendejos! [Claudia] ¡Cierra la boca! [Sound of: A radio dial turning to static] [End]

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