DUCKLINGS MOVE TO MODESTO (OFFICIAL)

blues, jazz, fast, vibrant, bass male vocals + contralto female choir backup, high notes, syncopations, echoes, reverbs, uneven jumpy tempo, pauses, percussive, call-and-response, brush drums, ‑MODERN, ‑RAPID, ‑MALE, ‑ORCHESTRA

They waddled past a church one day
that warned against “depravity,”
But the pastor had a side hustle
in “cleansing your cavity.”
The ducklings tried to pray,
But the hymns just smelled like bleach—
So they found salvation via PayPal
and an “egg-forward” wellness niche.
doo-doo doo do do

Aunt Patty came from Sacramento
with a cigarette and a gun,
She said, “I raised six mallards sober—
now I’m here for number one.”
She taught ‘em how to cross the street
and scam a Rite-Aid scan,
And whispered: “You ain't truly feathered
‘til you’ve slept with a MAGA man.”
doo-doo doo do do

[Chorus]
And she said, "No, I'm gonna keep them waaarm
Gonna be their momma now 'Cause I'm a mother, too"
doo doo do do do

One duckling found religion
in a Trader Joe’s baguette,
The other got baptized
in a bath of student debt.
Mama lit a candle,
then a joint, then her receipts,
And said: “This Modesto life may quack—
but at least it’s gluten-free.”
doo-doo doo do do

One’s poly with a priestess
And a Pentecostal nun,
One duck runs a nudist farm
In Modesto zone one.
They held a rave in hospice care—
Played Skrillex on the lawn—
A man died doing Molly
To a remix of Elton John.
doo-doo doo do do

They hang at VFWs,
Play dominoes with vets,
Discussing Freud and footjobs
And whose feathers get ‘em wet.
They’re banned from five synagogues
For reasons left unclear,
But rumor is one duck screamed
“Y’all gentrified queers!”
doo-doo doo do do

The mayor showed up in a feather-trimmed suit,
Said “You mallards are vulgar! You’re pollutin’ our youth!”
Then winked at Rhonda, who coughed up a bill—
“Your daughter buys butt plugs from me every week still.”
doo-doo doo do do
One duck's on Ozempic, one’s on trial for fraud,
One tried polyamory, one just texts “u up?” to God.
Their feathers are all pierced now, their bills got gold veneers,
They drink mezcal from a sippy cup and say, “Let's do a threesome? No? Cheers!!”
doo-doo doo do do

One duck got married to a woman named "Frank"  
(Short for Francesca. She vapes and she spanks.)  
They got a tattoo of a crypto QR code—  
On his cloaca. It’s scannable. Say no more.  
doo-doo doo do do

[BRIDGE – SPOKEN, INTIMATE]  
And still they dream of Central Park—  
Of hotdog carts and stroller theft  
Of that SUV…  
And her jumpsuit’s left breast.  
doo-doo doo do do
[Outro Chorus]
We keep it warm, we keep it dry,
We sell you dreams, then wave goodbye.
We’ve got no shame, we’ve got no clue—
But mama loved us—so fuck you too.
doo-doo doo do do

[Chorus]
And I will keep you warm
Keep you safe and dry
Gonna be your partner now
Together we will fly...!
And I know just what to do
'Cause I'.. love you.. love you tooo!!! do do do do

Ouuuf. Hugs and Kisses to y'all.

2977/7500

[VERSE 1] Now the ducklings hit Modesto On a Greyhound full of felons, Quackin’ loud and wearin’ Oakleys With a fanny full of melons. They got banned from Panera For shopliftin’ vinaigrette, And one’s runnin' fentanyl From a vape shop in Gillette. doo-doo doo do dooooo They waddled past a church one day that warned against “depravity,” But the pastor had a side hustle in “cleansing your cavity.” The ducklings tried to pray, But the hymns just smelled like bleach— So they found salvation via PayPal and an “egg-forward” wellness niche. doo-doo doo do do Aunt Patty came from Sacramento with a cigarette and a gun, She said, “I raised six mallards sober— now I’m here for number one.” She taught ‘em how to cross the street and scam a Rite-Aid scan, And whispered: “You ain't truly feathered ‘til you’ve slept with a MAGA man.” doo-doo doo do do [Chorus] And she said, "No, I'm gonna keep them waaarm Gonna be their momma now 'Cause I'm a mother, too" doo doo do do do One duckling found religion in a Trader Joe’s baguette, The other got baptized in a bath of student debt. Mama lit a candle, then a joint, then her receipts, And said: “This Modesto life may quack— but at least it’s gluten-free.” doo-doo doo do do One’s poly with a priestess And a Pentecostal nun, One duck runs a nudist farm In Modesto zone one. They held a rave in hospice care— Played Skrillex on the lawn— A man died doing Molly To a remix of Elton John. doo-doo doo do do They hang at VFWs, Play dominoes with vets, Discussing Freud and footjobs And whose feathers get ‘em wet. They’re banned from five synagogues For reasons left unclear, But rumor is one duck screamed “Y’all gentrified queers!” doo-doo doo do do The mayor showed up in a feather-trimmed suit, Said “You mallards are vulgar! You’re pollutin’ our youth!” Then winked at Rhonda, who coughed up a bill— “Your daughter buys butt plugs from me every week still.” doo-doo doo do do One duck's on Ozempic, one’s on trial for fraud, One tried polyamory, one just texts “u up?” to God. Their feathers are all pierced now, their bills got gold veneers, They drink mezcal from a sippy cup and say, “Let's do a threesome? No? Cheers!!” doo-doo doo do do One duck got married to a woman named "Frank" (Short for Francesca. She vapes and she spanks.) They got a tattoo of a crypto QR code— On his cloaca. It’s scannable. Say no more. doo-doo doo do do [BRIDGE – SPOKEN, INTIMATE] And still they dream of Central Park— Of hotdog carts and stroller theft Of that SUV… And her jumpsuit’s left breast. doo-doo doo do do [Outro Chorus] We keep it warm, we keep it dry, We sell you dreams, then wave goodbye. We’ve got no shame, we’ve got no clue— But mama loved us—so fuck you too. doo-doo doo do do [Chorus] And I will keep you warm Keep you safe and dry Gonna be your partner now Together we will fly...! And I know just what to do 'Cause I'.. love you.. love you tooo!!! do do do do Ouuuf. Hugs and Kisses to y'all.

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