[Intro — Rhodes Piano, Warm, Easy] [Verse 1 — Conversational, Smooth] She leaned across the Slack call with a smile I couldn't see And said "the investors love it when the numbers disagree With reality, with gravity, with anything that's true They all do it, every founder, it's the normal thing to do" [Verse 2 — Grooving] The benchmarks have been saturated since the second round The metrics point to heaven but the revenue's in the ground The charts go up because we made them go up, that's the trick You just pick the axis carefully and make the line look thick [Chorus — Full Band, Sing-Along] Oh, investors love it when you lie, actually They really really love it when the deck is pretty They'll nod along to numbers that don't exist Sign the check, shake the hand, nothing is amiss Investors love it when you lie, actually It's basically a language and we're fluent, pretty city [Verse 3 — Story Time] The credit line is maxed, the second credit line is too The third one is a gentleman's agreement with a dude Who met Flaviu at a dinner once in San Francisco rain And said "I like your energy" which meant "I'll never check your claims" [Verse 4 — Building] The funding round is "closing" like it's been closing since July The valuation's based on vibes and one impressive slide Of a hockey stick that's pointed at a future made of hope And a TAM so large it includes everyone who's ever used a phone [Chorus] [Bridge — Just Piano, Honest For a Moment] And I sat there in the meeting thinking "Is it me? Am I the crazy one? For wanting numbers that are real And products that are done?" But she said "relax, they all do it" And maybe that's the saddest part Not that the lie exists But that the truth was never going to start [Verse 5 — Picking Back Up, Cheeky] The board has got one extra seat but guess who's sitting in it The founders hold the votes because the numbers looked good for a minute And now the numbers don't look good but nobody recounts Because the deck from February is the one that really counts [Verse 6 — Peak Groove] The customers are using Fal but shh, don't say that loud The postmortem is written before the outage hits the cloud The webhook doesn't exist, the safety page went up last week The abuse address is working but the ethics spring a leak [Chorus — Bigger, Everyone Singing] Oh, investors love it when you lie, actually They really really love it when the pitch is witty They'll fund the dream, ignore the scream Pat you on the back and join the team Investors love it when you lie, actually It's just a little fiction in a very real city [Verse 7 — Winding Down, Warm] A million for the servers that you never meant to pay Another million for the settlement you signed the other day Nebius stamped the folder, Voltage Park cashed the check And the terms of service updated like a bandage on a wreck [Outro — Piano Slowing, Bar Closing] And somewhere in a pitch deck On a laptop running low A line goes up forever Past the things we'll never know She said "they love it" And you know what I think she might be right They love it when you lie They love it Actually [Harmonica — Fading Out] Goodnight [End]
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