[VERSE 1] [FEMALE VOCAL] I have his laminated agenda! It's... poetry... written in... "Times New Roman." It has... "Scheduled Time for Regret" And a... slot for... "Non-Specific Omen"! He's a treasure! A find! A rare bird! The most... rigid... man I've ever met! So I... "accidentally"... just... purred... In a... tiny..., adorable... text! I just... poked... the... bear... I just... rattled... the... cage! I just... put... a... "whoopie cushion"... there... On his... perfectly... sensible... page! [CHORUS] [FEMALE VOCAL] Oh! He's a beautifully wound-up toy! A little tin soldier in gray! He's a... tightly-coiled... spring... of... "no-joy" That I'm... dying... to... "boing!"... and... to... "play"! He thinks... that... the... world... is... just... "math" And... "compliance"... and... "filing"... a... "form"! I am... the... "tornado"... in... his... "path"! I am... the... "delightful"... "life-storm"! [VERSE 2] [FEMALE VOCAL] The app... said... "a 100 percent"! And... I... finally... think... I... know... why! It... knew... I'm... the... "happy... accident"... For... this... very... particular... guy! He... needs... someone... to... mess... up... his... "plans"! He... needs... someone... to... make... him... feel... "blue"! (As in, the... color... not... the... "sad-man"...) He... needs... me... to... tell... him... what... to... do! (Which is... "nothing"... and... "everything"... "now"!) [CHORUS] [FEMALE VOCAL] Oh! He's a beautifully wound-up toy! A little tin soldier in gray! He's a... tightly-coiled... spring... of... "no-joy" That I'm... dying... to... "boing!"... and... to... "play"! He thinks... that... the... world... is... just... "math" And... "compliance"... and... "filing"... a... "form"! I am... the... "tornado"... in... his... "path"! I am... the... "delightful"... "life-storm"! [BRIDGE] [FEMALE VOCAL] Is it mean... to... have... this... much... fun? With a... man... who's... so... scared... of... a... "germ"? Am I... "cruel"... to... this... "sensible... one"? Am I... just... a... "human-sized... squirm"? No! I'm... "medicine"! I'm... "the... cure"! I'm... the... "spontaneous"... "art"... that... he... needs! He's... just... so... "adorable"... "pure"... Lost... in... his... "statistical... weeds"! [OUTRO] [FEMALE VOCAL] My... phone... just... buzzed! Oh... a... text! It's... from... "Mister... Agenda"... himself! It just... says... "WHAT... ARE... YOUR... 'INTENTIONS'... QUESTION... MARK... ...IN... 'ALL... CAPS'"... (giggles) Oh... I... cannot... wait... for... tomorrow! This... is... the... most... fun... I've... had... all... year! ...I... should... probably... go... buy... some... glitter.
