CAN’T A GIRL BE CHILLY (Confident Mistaken Identity Anthem) [Verse 1 – Strutting In] Saw you from behind at the mini-mart Yelled your name like a work of art You turned slow… with a blank-face stare So I doubled down — “HEY, REMEMBER LAST YEAR?!” Told the story ‘bout the squirrel in the drive-thru lane You laughed… politely… like you’re in some pain I’m thinking, “Wow… you’re acting brand new” Still confident, ‘cause clearly, that’s you. [Pre-Chorus – Fake Irritation] Why you looking at me like I’m speaking Greek? C’mon, it’s ME — we talked like, every week! Ohhh, don’t you dare try to ghost my soul You’re busted — we’re besties — now play your role! [Chorus – Attitude] Can’t a girl be chilly? Why you acting all frigid with me? Can’t a girl be chilly? Like you forgot we shared that taco spree Can’t a girl be chilly? Guess I gotta remind your brain Don’t make me— (wait… oh…) [Verse 2 – The Realization] Oh no. Oh no no no. That is NOT the mole I know. Your ears are wrong. Your vibe’s too tall. This ain’t my friend. This ain’t them at all. Suddenly my soul just left my skin I mumbled, “uh… gotta go… bye again” Spun around so fast I pulled a calf Knocked over the gum stand — didn’t even laugh. [Chorus – Mortified Exit] Can’t a girl be chilly? Nope. I’m a steaming wreck. Can’t a girl be chilly? When I just called Greg a guy named Beck. Can’t a girl be chilly? Nope. I’m gonna hide for life. See ya never. I’m gone. Goodbye. [Outro – Awkward Fade] *footsteps squeak on the tile… sliding door swoosh… distant muttering: “not my fault they had the same hat…”*
