[Verse 1] You sit behind the screen with that wicked grin, Stacked little towers where the secrets live, Knuckles on oak and the candles sway, When you shake those cubes the whole room prays— Slow little swirl in your steady hands, Leather creaks when you lean back in, You say, “Just mechanics, nothing wild…” But I saw that eyebrow—don’t lie, my guy. [Pre-Chorus] Click-clack thunder on the tabletop, Every head turns when the numbers drop, You clear your throat like, “Purely fate…” Funny how the lights get low that late. [Chorus] 🎶 Roll that dice real nice again, Let it bounce right off the edge of sin, Critical hit—oh look at that— Something just slipped from where it sat, You shrug like, “Rules, I can’t amend,” While I fan myself across the end, Another toss, another grin— Careful, DM… we’re losing linen.* 🎶 [Verse 2] You stack the screen a little high, Pretend you didn’t clock my eyes, Say “Armor class just dropped a hair,” Coincidence? Yeah… sure, fair. Fingers drum while you line it up, Spin that d20 slow as luck, I lean forward, dice hit wood— Suddenly the breeze feels… good. [Pre-Chorus] You mutter charts and saving throws, I’m counting layers I think I know, You say “Natural twenty—oops—” I say, “Funny how that keeps happening to me.” [Chorus] 🎶 Roll that dice real slow this time, Let suspense drip like expensive wine, High roll lands and there it goes— Fabric fleeing from my toes, You cough once, fix your DM chair, Swear the system’s perfectly fair, Yet every crit you happen to spin… Ends with me in less than when.* 🎶 [Bridge] You say, “Probability is wild tonight,” I say, “Funny, so’s the draft in here,” You check the book, stall three beats— Like the universe wants us to repeat. You tilt the die, let gravity choose, I tilt my head—what could I lose? You say, “This is not my call…” Then grin like it absolutely is. [Final Chorus] 🎶 Roll it again, dungeon king, Let them sparkle, hear them sing, Click-clack fate on polished oak, Another crit—another cloak, You swear it’s RAW, swear it’s clean, I swear you rigged that shiny sheen, One more toss and I’m callin’ sin— Or losin’ socks to the RNG gods again.* 🎶 [Outro] You scoop the dice, act innocent, Say, “Session over—plot development,” I grab my coat… what’s left of it— “Next week? …bring more layers.”
