## Blue Cookies and 501’s [Intro] I used to love my 501’s Boots, ball cap, t-shirt on deck Till a Target men’s room took my pride And left my nerves a wreck [Verse 1] Rett and I rolled out everywhere Beach walks, parks, and mall food courts Stay-at-home dad in a crew cab truck waitin for end of day to give Wife our report We were coming back from the park When my bladder was fit to explode Target sign popped up a sight for sore eyes through it in park, no time to unload Stroller was sitting in the bed "we can get this done quick" That was mistake number one someone shoulda just beat me with a stick [Pre-Chorus] no vacancy in the family bathroom waited five minutes to bail Rett was kicking like a mule And my bladder was about to fail [Chorus] Blue cookies and 501’s Man this daddy had to go! One hand fighting button flies One hand trying not to let go Blue cookies and 501’s That store saw my worst that day Some dads bring home memories I brought trauma, shame, and nothing more to say [Verse 2] So we ran to the regular men’s room made a b-line to the Last urinal on the wall Then Rett saw three blue hockey pucks thought he heard the Lords blessed call “DADDY? Cookies!” happy as a preacher Finding donuts after church I said, “Buggy, no! those are nasty” But his little gears went to work I’m one-hand working those buttons Like I’m cracking a bank vault code He’s kicking at the fire hose stream now we both are getting soaked Set him down but kept one hand Or thought I had that grip That boy went slicker than snot And gave me the toddler slip [Pre-Chorus 2] I yelled, “Oh GOD? RETT! NO! GROSS!” He froze and for a second he understood Then side-eyed me with that dirty grin Like, "STOP? Bet you wish I would” [Chorus 2] Blue cookies and 501’s Lord, Daddy lost his command Pants undone, pee flowing everywhere With my disaster now at hand Blue cookies and 501’s That boy went all-in south lunged for that nasty bathroom puck And tried to put it in his mouth [Outro] I slapped that demon biscuit loose Scooped him up and hit the door Blue on his hands, blue on his lips Pee prints marching cross the floor Past the registers we rolled Like a crime scene on parade Me holdin up my jeans and toddler both Praying nobody looked my way [Final Chorus] Blue cookies and 501’s That day still haunts my dreams Never skip the stroller, boys That wisdom don’t come free Blue cookies and 501’s Lord, I paid that daddy toll Button flies and toddlers one of them had to go No, button flies and toddlers One of them had to go! "Bye Bye 501's"
