I wonder if there’s an online cemetery for digital profiles? 😉🤭☺️ _______________________ Look, I’ve had this long standing fear, I’m gonna die, my profile stays here Like some digital zombie, stuck on the screen, Everyone’s forgotten, but I’m still seen. So I wrote my online will, found a badass line: "When I die, I want my profile chopped into 1 byte pieces and scattered across the internet - preferably on porn sites." Started drafting my own, detailed and bold, "If I kick the bucket, call this phone number, ask for his last name that’s the password, you’ve got my login." Then I texted my “bro” about it. His reply? "Diazepam, 10 mg, morning and evening." Seriously? Talk about emotional unconcern. Fine, I decided to die just to spite them all, Let everyone know - then they’ll finally get it! Yeah, they’ll finally get it… Started "dying" this morning, but life got in the way: Phone was ringing non stop, so I muted the day. Saw myself in the mirror - no way I’m dying rough, Shower, hair, shave - gotta look decent, that’s tough. Desk was messy, had to fix it, neighbour came with booze, Felt awkward kicking him out with "Sorry, man, I’m busy dying," ooh… Got hungry, then wanted a smoke, lovely lady came to visit, Dinner happened, I was exhausted, crawled into my bed, yeah… "Well, now I can finally die," I thought. But no It was just… boring. Deciding that reading wouldn’t stop my death, I picked up a book, About progressive women — what did I read? A story, take a look: It turns out that in Ancient Egypt, the whole family had to pluck their eyebrows As a sign of mourning when a pet cat died, wrapped in a dress, buried with pride. And what does this have to do with me now? Why am I laughing? Seriously, no one will let me die in peace… No one will let me die… in peace… No one will let me… FINAL WILL AND TESTAMENT: "When I die, everyone must pluck their eyebrows" When I die… everyone must… Pluck their eyebrows… When I die… No one will let me die in peace… Just a digital ghost, on the screen…
