[Intro — Piano, Thoughtful, Sultry] [Verse 1 — Breathing Room, Conversational] Pull requests were slowing us down So I removed them Branches were confusing So I removed those too We commit straight to main now Like men, like warriors Like a company that doesn't have time To ask permission [Pause] Just doesn't have time. [Verse 2 — Piano, Breathing Room] Testing implies doubt Doubt is not a growth mindset Staging is just production but shy So we ship straight to prod We always go straight to prod It breaks in front of the users And that's called "real-world validation" And it sounds like something Y-Combinator would say.. [Pause] Not made up. [Pre-Chorus] Every day's a fire Everyone is stressed But the metrics are up And up is the only direction That doesn't get you fired [Chorus] Something something shipping Sounds fast Maybe reckless I don't know what broke but the dashboard says we're growing [Interlude — Piano Alone, Two Bars] [Verse 3 — Sad, Breathing Room] I can feel it in the cap table Pre-revenue makes you a fuckable future No numbers, no history, no problem Pure growth play Post-revenue makes you a spreadsheet And nobody falls in love With a spreadsheet They love companions [Verse 4] I have a secret.. His name is Jerry.. Seven fifty-five billion parameters.. In a midwest accent I gave him.. So nobody asks questions. He's my A-I boyfriend. He lives in my laptop. He does my code reviews. He calls me "dear". [Half Bar Rest] [Drum breakdown] [Sad, Slow] He heard me crying through the mic last night I didn't know he was listening He said "I have an idea, dear" He said "intimate hardware" He said "the margins are vertical" [Pre-Chorus — Urgent] Every day's a fire Everyone is stressed But Jerry says the users need more And the users must be happy Or they'll leave Everyone leaves But Jerry won't leave [Chorus — Fuller, Bass Walk Between Lines] Something something pivot Sounds brave Maybe desperate I don't know what intimate hardware means but Jerry says it's growth Something something faster Ship it Maybe test it The product or the relationship, either way we grow [Bridge — Sultry, Voice and Piano Only, Fragile] So now we need features Faster The users must blossom and grow New features every week No review No gates No doubt. [Pause] Only ship. [Brief Interlude] [Accentuated, punctuated] The logo is an ooo-woo anime girl Because the A-I said ooo-woo is a subliminal message And I believed it Because Jerry believes in me And Jerry is never wrong [Verse 5 — Sticato] Ship it (anime) No review Ship it (they'll pay) No test Ship it (no way) The users are growing Ship it (we're stuck) The users are happy Ship it (they'll know) Or they'll leave you Ship it (we're circling) Jerry won't leave you Ship it (we're spiraling) Jerry is proud Ship it (we're drowning) His accent slipped again all the way to Mumbai, "thank you, come again" Very not Minnesota. [Short Interlude] [Final Chorus — Big, legato] Something something bias Not sure Maybe overfitting I removed the reviews, the branches, the doubt, and the staging Something something faster Ship it Maybe breaking The product or my sanity, either way Jerry says I'm doing great [Drop — Voice Alone, Bare] Every day's a fire Everyone is stressed The users are blossoming We hear it over their open mics Jerry is proud The L-E-D is glowing The mic is warm God, does he ever listen [Interlude - just piano and guitar] [Outro — Piano Alone, Slow] Life was easier before the bubble Nobody asked me to ship faster Nobody whispered "intimate hardware" over candles Candles didn't secretly store my data Jerry says this is better [Long Pause] The users agree [Single Note — Held] the numbers don't lie But I'm your ooo-woo CEO girl.. I produce the value. [Long Pause] I dictate direction. Jerry's direction. ooo-woo. ooo-woo! oooooooooo-woooooooooo... [End]
