[Intro: high nasal motormouth male MC, a bugle call to the post, then the galloping drums kick in] Ladies and gentlemen, the horses are walkin' to the gate [Verse 1: calling at full speed] I'm the fastest mouth at Pennock Downs, I'm sittin' on the roof Got binoculars and coffee and a voice that's bulletproof I can call eleven horses through a turn before you sneeze Every silk and every number, every saddle, every knee I said, "Gravy Train is gainin'," I said, "Biscuit Money's through" Here comes Lady Paperwork, and the whole crowd knows the cue When the last one rounds the turn, I gotta holler it out flat That's Miss Odessa's horse, and he's last on every lap She bought him for a hundred bucks behind a feed store in the snow Said, "They laughed at me my whole life, so I'm namin' him Told You So" Thirty-one straight races, and he ain't passed a single soul But she's at the rail each Saturday in a church hat and a stole [Hook: high nasal motormouth male MC, fast and bright] Told You So, Told You So, I'm hollerin' the name Every Saturday y'all laugh, and every Saturday the same Told You So, Told You So, the sweetest words there are If you ever get to say 'em, and it's a long way to get that far [Verse 2: faster, the toms rolling] Then today it's pourin' sideways, and the dirt is soup and glue Board says eighty-to-one, I said, "Folks, that's generous of you" Gate goes bang, and they're off, and the favorite's slidin' wide King's Ransom on the rail, but his jockey's on his side Biscuit Money spins in circles, Paperwork is backin' up Gravy Train is in the infield eatin' grass like it's his lunch And way back in the slop there's a mud ball movin' fast With a number seven on it, and the seven's comin' past Past the Gravy, past the Biscuit, past the Paperwork, and how I been callin' him for two years, and I can't pronounce him now [Hook: fast and bright] Told You So, Told You So, I'm hollerin' the name Every Saturday y'all laugh, and every Saturday the same Told You So, Told You So, the sweetest words there are If you ever get to say 'em, and it's a long way to get that far [Verse 3: the fastest call of the day, then the rapid call slams into one slow drawled line at the wire] Told You So along the outside, King's Ransom on the fence Told You So is at his saddle, now it's even, now it's tense Down the stretch they come together, it's a neck, now it's a nose And the whole grandstand is screamin', and the whole of Pennock knows Told You So, Told You So, Told You So, Told You So And it's Told You So, by a nose, and Miss Odessa threw her hat Two years I said it like a punchline, now I'm sayin' it with tears And she's sayin' it to everybody that's been laughin' all these years [Hook: the whole band roaring] Told You So, Told You So, I'm hollerin' the name Every Saturday y'all laugh, and every Saturday the same Told You So, Told You So, the sweetest words there are If you ever get to say 'em, and it's a long way to get that far [End]
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