ZUCCHINI APOCALYPSE Verse 1 It’s zucchini season, everybody knows the drill, You turn around and suddenly the garden’s overkill. Grilled ’em, fried ’em, stuffed ’em, pickled, soup and bread, Made zucchini cake and noodles till the freezer nearly fled. Still they keep on growing, green and proud and fat, Lift one little leaf and — boom — a three-kilo brat! Chorus Zucchini, zucchini, won’t you please just stop?! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! I can’t give you away, the neighbors lock the shop. LOCK THE DOOR! LOCK IT! My goats just stare in pure contempt, they will not take the hit, GOATS SAY NO! GOATS SAY NO! Only next-door’s chickens seem to give a single shit! CHICKEN YES! CHICKEN YES! Verse 2 Today we’re slicin’, breadin’, fryin’ once again, Tomorrow it’ll be muffins, I can feel the pain. Sneak out with a basket, try to leave one at the door, But the curtains twitch and footsteps run — they’re not home anymore. These green invaders multiply while I just stand and weep, I swear the plants are laughing every time I try to sleep. Chorus Zucchini, zucchini, won’t you please just stop?! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! I can’t give you away, the neighbors lock the shop. LOCK THE DOOR! LOCK IT! My goats just stare in pure contempt, they will not take the hit, GOATS SAY NO! GOATS SAY NO! Only next-door’s chickens seem to give a single shit! CHICKENS YES! CHICKENS YES! Bridge I dream of frosty mornings when the vines finally die, But deep down in the compost I can still hear them multiply. This ain't gardening anymore — it's vegetable warfare! The zucchini crowned me king... I never asked for this affair! ALL HAIL THE GREEN! ALL HAIL THE GREEN! Final Chorus Zucchini, zucchini, you’ve conquered the whole yard! TAKE THE YARD! TAKE THE YARD! I’ve cooked you every way there is, my fridge is battle-scarred. FRIDGE IS FULL! FRIDGE IS FULL! The goats have mutinied, the neighbors changed their name, GOATS REVOLT! NEIGHBORS FLED! But those damn chickens next door just keep on winning the game! CHICKENS WIN! CHICKENS WIN! Outro Fine... I surrender. Alle: ALL HAIL THE GREEN! PASS THE CRUMBS! PASS THE CRUMBS! PASS THE CRUMBS! ZUCCHI-NI! ZUCCHI-NI! ZUCCHI-NI!!!
