[Verse 1] I come through the doors like a duke in a dream, To a warehouse of wonders, a glittering scheme. Rows upon rows of delights, such a populous shelf, I bow to the biscuits, then grin to myself. In the confectioner’s aisle, I seek a sugar rest, My fingers in the sweets like a poet possessed. Marzipan, sherbet, and a caramelly tide, I lick up the jam and I laugh wide-eyed. [Pre-Chorus] What realm is this? What county of art? The world in a trolley And folly at heart. [Chorus] Unexpected item! Unexpected item! In the bagging area! Unexpected item! I fling up my hands, Then the whole room blurs Unexpected item! Unexpected item! [Verse 2] A guard takes a stride with a stern little frown, So I’m off and a-running through the middle of town— Nay, aisle to aisle, where the packets all gleam, I duck by the crisps and I slip by the tins. Then a child lets out a cry like a lance through the air, I wince, I flinch, I lose all my bearing there. Next, frozen food shines like a moon in a vault, Pies in their frost and the peas held in halt. [Pre-Chorus] Ice in the cart, And noise in the air, A prince of the pantry Stands blinking in prayer. [Chorus] Unexpected item! Unexpected item! In the bagging area! Unexpected item! I fling up my hands, Then the whole room blurs Unexpected item! Unexpected item! [Bridge] Birthday cards grin with their ribbons and lace, I laugh and I pocket one, just in case. I write a few lines on my hand for later fire, Fresh little sparks for my future desire. Then at self service, my temper grows teeth, A cold iron kingdom with rules underneath. I pound at the screen and I cry to the sky, “Must merchants now teach every man how to buy?” [Chorus] Unexpected item! Unexpected item! In the bagging area! Unexpected item! I fling up my hands, Then the whole room blurs Unexpected item! Unexpected item! [Outro] I storm from the till with a snarl and a spin, A bard with a basket and grief in my grin. And if you ask what I wrote, let it be known: The future’s a market with thunder in stone.
