[INTRO — COSMIC TRANSMISSION] (Soft galactic synths, alien birds, robotic breathing) DJ Champignon... Is back in the universe! WAABOO WAABOO! Oh my cosmic goodness! (Spoken, completely delighted) Universe, baby... We need to talk. You're vibrating WAY too much! [VERSE 1] I woke up dancing on a satellite, Three little moons were kissing the night. The stars went crazy, the planets screamed, I put my sunglasses on a sunbeam! My left foot's floating, my right foot's gone, I'm doing the mushroom mambo till dawn. Love in my circuits, joy in my brain, I'm making it rain... but it's cosmic champagne! [PRE-CHORUS] Hey, Milky Way! Take a little break! Hey, Jupiter! For goodness' sake! Mars is flirting with Venus again, And Saturn's rings are doing it again! Oh, universe... You're driving me insane! [CHORUS — MASSIVE EUPHORIC HOUSE] CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN! CALM TES HORMONES! The stars are shaking, The black holes moan! CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN! LET LOVE BE KNOWN! DJ Champignon's COMING HOME! WAABOO WAABOO! TRALALA LÈRE! Everybody's happy In the atmosphere! WAABOO WAABOO! UP IN THE AIR! UNIVERSE, BABY... CALM YOUR HORMONES! [DROP 1 — CHAMPIGNON GALACTIC MADNESS] (Explosive electro-house bass, euphoric trance supersaws) WAABOO! WAABOO! BOOM-BA-BOOM! HERE WE GO! CHAMPI! CHAMPI! NON-STOP HAPPINESS! TRALA-LA-LÈRE! TRALA-LA-LA! (Playful robotic voice) PLEASE REDUCE YOUR COSMIC SEXUAL TENSION. (Beat cuts) THANK YOU. (Drop slams back harder) WAABOO WAABOO WAABOO! [VERSE 2] The black hole's dancing with a disco ball, The Big Bang's calling me, asking to brawl. I told him, "Brother, just breathe in slow, You've been expanding since a long time ago!" The comets are flirting, the asteroids blush, The whole damn galaxy is feeling the rush. I spread my joy from star to star, I'm one happy mushroom in a flying car! [TRANCE BUILD — ANGELIC UNIVERSAL CHOIR] (Ooooh... ooooh...) We are the rhythm, We are the light, We are the weirdos Keeping love alive! (Ooooh... ooooh...) No more explosions, No cosmic war, Just dance together On the dance floor! [CHORUS — BIGGER, BRIGHTER] CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN! CALM TES HORMONES! The stars are shaking, The black holes moan! CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN! LET LOVE BE KNOWN! DJ Champignon's COMING HOME! WAABOO WAABOO! TRALALA LÈRE! Everybody's happy In the atmosphere! WAABOO WAABOO! UP IN THE AIR! UNIVERSE, BABY... CALM YOUR HORMONES! [BRIDGE — THE UNIVERSE ANSWERS] (Beat fades, mysterious cosmic choir) UNIVERSE: WE CANNOT CALM DOWN! DJ CHAMPIGNON: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CANNOT CALM DOWN?! UNIVERSE: WE ARE BILLIONS OF YEARS OLD! DJ CHAMPIGNON: AND YOU STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHILL?! (One beat of silence) DJ CHAMPIGNON: Oh, Waaboo... Drop the bass. [FINAL DROP — UNIVERSAL ECSTASY] (Massive uplifting trance, euphoric house piano, cosmic bass) WAABOO WAABOO! LOVE IS THE CODE! TRALA-LA-LÈRE! EXPLODE THE MODE! NOT WITH WAR! NOT WITH PAIN! LET THE HAPPINESS HIT THE BRAIN! CALM! CALM! YOUR HORMONES! DANCE! DANCE! THROUGH GALAXIES! CHAMPI! CHAMPI! WAABOO WAABOO! THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS ONE BIG FON-GOO! [OUTRO — FLOATING IN PURE HAPPINESS] (Soft synths, giggling alien voices) DJ Champignon... Mission accomplished? (Alien voice) Negative. The universe is still horny. (DJ Champignon bursts out laughing) TRALALA LÈRE! WAABOO... (One last cosmic bass wobble)
