[Chorus] Hey! Hey! Who are we? Petition crew for charity! Hey! Hey! Take a look— We’ve got a cause and a trick in the book! Hey! Hey! Hear us say: Adults get treats on Halloween day! Hey! Hey! Here’s our pitch— We’re taking this cash for our stash! [Verse 1] I pin a sash across my shirt I practice looking earnest first I’ve got a clipboard, I’ve got a plan I’m a very responsible adult-man Big words, small grin “Help our cause, come on in” I say the funds will do some good I nod like every official should [Pre-Chorus] I hear myself say, “Trust me, please” I almost laugh behind my teeth The mask is snug, the speech is thin I ask again; they drop one in [Chorus] Hey! Hey! Who are we? Petition crew for charity! Hey! Hey! Take a look— We’ve got a cause and a trick in the book! Hey! Hey! Hear us say: Adults get treats on Halloween day! Hey! Hey! Here’s our pitch— We’re taking this cash for our stash! [Verse 2] I’m dressed like somebody important My petition has a very long title I hold it up; I make my case A plastic badge, a solemn face “For every kid, for every town” I say, while turning upside down The bucket once, then twice, then three I tell myself, “That’s policy” [Bridge] Oops! We tricked you. I said we’d put it to good use I said it with a practiced voice I walk away with all that cash I’m taking this cash for my stash No speech. No shame. Just one more block and then we’re done I ask myself, “Was that the plan?” I answer, “Yep.” I keep it moving [Chorus] Hey! Hey! Who are we? Petition crew for charity! Hey! Hey! Take a look— We’ve got a cause and a trick in the book! Hey! Hey! Hear us say: Adults get treats on Halloween day! Hey! Hey! Here’s our pitch— We’re taking this cash for our stash! [Outro] Hey! Hey! Ooh—ah! Hey! Hey! I’m still in costume. I’m still collecting. Oops.
