Oreo Runs This House

“Oreo Runs This House” [Intro] Ladies and gentlemen… I’d like to introduce… The true owner of this house… My cat… Oreo. Apparently I’m just here To pay the bills. ⸻ [Verse 1] Oreo’s pitch black, Looking smooth and cool, Walking through the house Like he owns the whole room. Tail held high, He’s got that swagger, Meanwhile I’m following behind Picking up the disaster. He’ll stare at the wall Like it’s got a secret plan, Now I’m staring too… Because what if he can? Three in the morning, Everybody asleep… Suddenly it’s NASCAR With tiny furry feet! ⸻ [Chorus] Oreo runs this house, Let’s all be real, I’m just the human Who refills every meal. Oreo runs this house, It’s perfectly clear, He doesn’t pay rent… Yet he’s the boss around here! Oreo runs this house, He makes the rules, I’m basically employed By a fluffy little fool! ⸻ [Verse 2] Bought him a fancy bed, Soft and brand new, He looked at it once… Then slept inside the shoe. Spent twenty dollars On an awesome cat toy, He ignored it completely For an old bottle cap. Oh boy. He’ll knock one thing Right off the shelf, Then look at me like, “Gravity did that itself.” Walks across the keyboard Every single day, Then somehow sends messages I didn’t mean to say. ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Can somebody explain… Why cats always choose The cardboard box Instead of the expensive gift? ⸻ [Chorus] Oreo runs this house, That’s just the truth, He’ll steal my chair Like he owns the living room. Oreo runs this house, He has no shame, He hears a treat bag From three blocks away! Oreo runs this house, Everybody knows, He’ll wake me up By booping my nose! ⸻ [Bridge] Me: “Oreo… come here!” Oreo: … Me: “Treat?” Oreo: “I’ve arrived.” ⸻ [Rap Verse] Zoomies activated, Running full speed, Sliding through the hallway Like he’s trying to break a speed record indeed. Jumped on the counter, Jumped on the chair, Jumped somewhere impossible… How’d he even get there? One little laser, He’s ready to play, Then loses interest About halfway. Sits in the window, Judging every bird, Looking like he’s planning A tiny feathered world. ⸻ [Verse 3] Then he curls beside me After all that fun, Starts to softly purr Like the day’s finally done. All the goofy moments, Every silly surprise, Somehow one little cat Can brighten up my life. He’s mischievous, Sassy, A tiny furry king, And honestly… I wouldn’t change a thing. ⸻ [Final Chorus] Oreo runs this house, And that’s okay, Because every single day He makes me laugh anyway. Oreo runs this house, Long live the king! The cutest little troublemaker I’ve ever seen! Oreo runs this house… Now if you’ll excuse me… ✨ I think he’s yelling because his food bowl is only 99% full. ✨ ⸻ [Outro] Me: “Oreo… were you good today?” Flower pot mysteriously falls over. Oreo: “…Meow.” 🐈‍⬛😂🖤🐾 “The evidence is circumstantial… and he’ll demand a lawyer paid in tuna!” 😹