You nerds don't know the meaning of embarrassment. Let me enlighten you. >be in third grade at a school assembly >have to shit real bad, feeling ill and feverish >we all get seated on the gym floor >holy fuck Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Homets NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets) >still have to shit so bad that I'm having cold sweats >wearing gymshorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn't wear any, felt good man) Hugo the Homet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting back down > >starting to feel dizzy from holding in my shit >see him walking my way >he's coming RIGHT FOR ME >he picks me up and begins to flip me over >he's squeezing my gut >as I'm upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through the air gracefully >start screaming >gets all over Hugo and sprays all over the kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well >it also gets all over my face and in my mouth because I was screaming >Hugo then drops me on my fucking head, into a pile of my own shit, hear him loudly say "WHAT THE FUCK" >Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor. >the music has stopped, the room is dead silent >assume the fetal position >covered in my own shit and can't stop farting/shitting as I lay there >start crying >pass out >wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at a distance >the tiny breathable holes in my gymshorts work like a shit colander, leaking shit water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts >pass out again From then on i was "The kid who shit on Hugo the Hornet"
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