Neal showed up late to his own surprise party Said “traffic was bad” He lives across the street Brought a bag of chips that were already open Said “they were on sale” Yeah Okay Neal What’s the deal with Neal? Is he for real? How do you fail at breathing and still somehow heal? What’s the deal with Neal? How’s this guy alive? He’s like a walking shrug On a sugar high Neal broke up once by replying “K” To a three-page text Then he lost his phone Neal microwaved foil “just to see what happens” Now the kitchen glows Like his frontal lobe What’s the deal with Neal? Is he for real? He triple-texts “you up?” to his own group chat feel What’s the deal with Neal? How’s this guy survive? He’s like a life hack That deletes your life He’s got a face you trust ‘Til he waters fake plants He asked “where’s the internet” Like it lives in France If common sense was cash He’d still owe you a grand But somehow he keeps winning I don’t understand What’s the deal with Neal? Is he for real? He brought a salad bar In a ziplock seal What’s the deal with Neal? How’s this guy not jailed? If life’s a multiple choice He circled “Nail” Yeah That’s the deal with Neal That’s the deal with Neal
