[style: death metal, bluegrass] [tempo: fast] [texture: gritty] [vibe: aggressive] [intro: the Right Reverend sings in an arrogant and condescending voice] Congratulations on your child bride You should shrink in shame yet you swell with pride Here’s to the magic you’ve taken away Cheers to the promise of your wedding day [verse] A lovely gown and bloody lace A wedding veil to hide her battered face Pain a wedding cake cannot erase A pound of scripture can’t cover your disgrace •• Think of the pain she’s buried inside With beckoning dreams of suicide Under your heel… nowhere to hide Such a wonderful life you will provide [chorus: anthemic] Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe [post-chorus] You played hide and seek, but she couldn’t hide You stalked her down, now she’s your bride In a few months time she’ll have a child of her own Will you at least wait until they’re grown? [chorus: anthemic] Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe [bridge] Not old enough to celebrate Yet old enough to procreate We may not know the whole story But I believe it’s called statutory [interlude] [verse] I’ve given her a special gift One meant just for you In honor of everything you’ve done I’ve placed a sixgun in her shoe (agh) [final chorus] Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixgun in her shoe •• Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue… [harsh] and a silver sixgun in her shoe Sixgun in her shoe Sixgun in her shoe Sixgun in her shoe [scream] Sixgun!… [whispered] in her shoe
