[Spoken Intro] Yo... Hunters, monsters, ghosts and ghouls— Y’all better make some room. ’Cause Garth is here. [Beat Drops] [Verse 1] Roll up to the case in a sensible ride, Big ol’ goofy grin and a hunter’s pride. Sam looks serious, Dean looks mean, Garth walks in like, “Hey, guys! What’s the scene?” No leather jacket, no tortured stare, Probably brought snacks ’cause the man came prepared. You can laugh at the dude, but before you start— Half the monster world’s already heard of Garth! He’ll check the EMF, then check on you, Ask how you’re feeling like good friends do. While everybody else is loading up the car, Garth solved the case— GARTH: “Aw, guys... it wasn’t that hard.” [Chorus] You just got GARTH’D! Yeah, you know what that means! The weirdest little hunter that you’ve ever seen! You just got GARTH’D! Better play your part— Ghosts get nervous when they hear about Garth! GARTH! GARTH! Everybody shout! GARTH! GARTH! He’ll figure it out! Hug first, hunt second, that’s the work of art— Everybody knows you don’t mess with Garth! [Verse 2] Bobby’s gone, somebody’s gotta take the calls, Garth steps up like he’s ten feet tall. Got Bobby’s old hat sitting up on his head, Giving hunter advice like the man never left. Dean’s looking at him like, “Is this for real?” Sam’s over there trying not to reveal That somewhere deep down they both understand— This awkward little dude is a heck of a man. Then life got hairy— [Beat Stops] No. Like... REALLY hairy. [Beat Returns] Got bit by a werewolf, thought his hunting was through, But Garth being Garth found a whole new crew. Found himself a family, found himself a wife, Said, “Being a werewolf? Hey, this ain’t a bad life!” [Chorus] You just got GARTH’D! Yeah, you know what that means! The friendliest werewolf that you’ve ever seen! You just got GARTH’D! Better play your part— Full moon shining, here comes Garth! GARTH! GARTH! Everybody shout! GARTH! GARTH! He’ll figure it out! Fangs in his mouth but love in his heart— Nobody does weird quite like Garth! [Dance Break / Call and Response] Who hugs Dean Winchester? GARTH DOES! Who makes it uncomfortable? GARTH DOES! Who keeps on hugging when Dean goes stiff? GARTH DOES! Who thinks Dean secretly likes it? ... GARTH DOES! [Verse 3] He ain’t got Sam’s hair, ain’t got Dean’s cool, Ain’t Castiel breaking every social rule. He ain’t Crowley with a devilish plan, He’s just Garth being Garth— And that’s enough, man! He’s awkward! (GARTH!) He’s cheerful! (GARTH!) He’s furry! (GARTH!) Occasionally fearful! But when things get ugly and the night gets dark, You could do a whole lot worse than calling Garth. He’ll bring the silver, bring the lore, Probably knock politely when he comes through the door. Monsters see Winchester and know things got hard— But imagine their shame... When they get taken down by GARTH! [Final Chorus] YOU JUST GOT GARTH’D! Put your hands in the air! There’s supernatural weirdness everywhere! YOU JUST GOT GARTH’D! From the graveyard to the bar— There ain’t another hunter quite like Garth! GARTH! GARTH! Give the man some room! GARTH! GARTH! He’ll clear the haunted tomb! Too nice to be scary, too strange to be suave, But somehow the dude keeps beating the odds! [Outro – Spoken Over Beat] Sam Winchester: serious. Dean Winchester: dangerous. Castiel: confusing. Garth Fitzgerald IV? ... Adorable. GARTH: “Aw, thanks, guys.” [Music abruptly stops] Dean: “Dude. No.” GARTH: “Okay. Hug?” [Final beat hit] GARTH!
