[Intro – Creepy music box, distant children laughing] [Three violent knocks] [children yells] KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK [pause] [Old man, deep spoken growl] What the hell... [Children, playful choir] Trick or treat! [pause] [Old man] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. GET OFF MY PORCH! [Massive syncopated guitar riff] [Verse 1 – Groovy aggressive spoken-growls] Six thirty. First little bastard. Plastic fangs, a bedsheet ghost, and a bucket bigger than his head. I give him nothing. [Double riffs] Seven o'clock. They're multiplying. Little vampires on my driveway, tiny devils at the gate. I turn the lights off. THEY KNOCK AGAIN ! [Pre-Chorus – Stop-start drums, increasing irritation] [Children] Knock, knock! [Old man] WHO'S THERE?! [Children] Trick or— [Old man] NOT A FUCKING CHANCE! [Chorus – Huge bouncing metalcore groove, gang shouts] KNOCK! KNOCK! WHO'S THERE?! ANOTHER LITTLE NIGHTMARE ON MY FUCKING STAIRS! TRICK OR TREAT? TAKE A HIKE! I'M THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT! [deep low scream] HALLOWEEN NIGHT !!! [Breakdown Instrumental] [Verse 2 – Faster rhythmic delivery, distorted funky bass] A spell on my doorbell. A skeleton pissing on my lawn. WHAT THE HELL. Kids are evil One asks for chocolate. I give him a beetle. HAHAHAHAHAH. [stop] He asks for another ??? WHAT THE FUCK?! [Instrumental – Dirty bass groove, manic laughter] [Bridge – Funeral doom, enormous slow guitar chords] [Old man, menacing whisper] You want something scary? I'll show you scary. [whispered] (no, not you Garry. not you) [Door creaks open] [Children, delighted] HE'S COMING OUT! [Old man] OH, YOU LITTLE— [Breakdown – Crushing half-time chugs, shouted vocals] NO! MORE! CANDY! NO! MORE! KIDS! NO ! MORE ! NO MORE NO MORE !!!! GET THE HELL! OFF! MY! LAWN!!!! [acceleration – Chaotic breakbeats, wild distorted riffs and orchestra] [Children – Fast rhythmic chants] Knock knock! Who's there? Knock knock! Who's scared? [Old man – Furious scream] I'M NOT SCARED! [Final Chorus – Huge chaotic gang vocals] [Children] Trick or— [Old man] NOT A FUCKING CHANCE! [Chorus – Huge bouncing metalcore groove, gang shouts] KNOCK! KNOCK! WHO'S THERE?! ANOTHER LITTLE NIGHTMARE ON MY FUCKING STAIRS! TRICK OR TREAT? TAKE A HIKE! I'M THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT! [deep low scream] HALLOWEEN NIGHT !!! [Outro – Everything stops, gentle doorbell] [Small child, innocent voice] Excuse me, mister... Do you have any chocolate? [Old man, exhausted whisper] ...I hate halloween... [End]
