Oh why did I do this? I inherited this old house, and now I'm here. Ya just know its haunted, just by the looks. Ghost poppin' in and out like its nobody's business Really gets annoying when you are trying to take a shower [choir]or a shit.. Yeah that too! So here I am, sitting in ma living room. Surrounded by aunt bertha, who been dead for decades And there's uncle bert, arrow still stuck in his ass. I think I saw cousin mirtha with the fishbowl still stuck on her head. What am I going to do with this? I could call a priest maybe? Get them all to the light. Don't really need a ouija board since they are all just here. Living all rent free in this house Oh why did I do this? I inherited this old house, and now I'm here. Ya just know it's haunted, just by the sounds, Ghosts poppin' in and out like they’re emulating hounds. So here I am, sittin’ in my livin’ room gloom, Surrounded by Aunt Bertha driftin’ ‘round the broom. She’s been dead for decades, still nags about dust, And there’s Uncle Bert, arrow stuck in his rear, Still complainin’ ‘bout taxes from the afterlife sphere. Cousin Mirtha floats by with the fishbowl helmet. What am I gonna do with this spectral parade? Can’t even microwave meals without feelin’ betrayed. They clatter the cupboards, they rattle the floor. I could call a priest, maybe get ‘em to the light, But they’re playin’ poker in the attic every night. Don’t really need a ouija — they’re already near. Livin’ all rent-free in this house I own, Critiquin’ my wallpaper in a monotone drone. If this is inheritance, I’ve been deceived. So I’ll pour one out for the dearly deceased, Tell ‘em, “Find another host, I’m signin’ a lease.” ‘Cause if they won’t leave and they won’t pay dues, I’m sellin’ this place, disclosed as “slightly used.”
