[Intro – Spoken, with a spooky laugh] Well, now, gather round, folks, and listen up tight, There’s a ghost in the house who comes out at night! He rattles the windows, he knocks on the door… And when you go lookin’ — he’s flat on the floor! Hee-hee-hee-hee! BOO! Oh, Jack, you little rascal! [Verse 1] There’s a ghost in this house, his name is Jack, He’s a troublemaker, no need to look back. He’ll rattle your pots, he’ll move your chair, Leave a mess and just disappear! He’ll steal your slippers, hide your hat, Put a pair of googly eyes on your cat. He ain’t got a job, he ain’t got a plan, He’s the laziest ghost in the whole darn land! [Chorus] Oh, Jack, the mischievous ghost, The spookiest prankster from coast to coast! He’ll turn your world upside down, The funniest phantom in the whole darn town! He’ll make you jump, he’ll make you shout, Then float through the wall with a great big pout! Oh, Jack, the mischievous ghost, You’re the one we love to fear the most! [Verse 2] He’ll hide your keys when you’re running late, Then lock the door and laugh at your fate. He’ll put ice cubes down your back, Then blame the dog — now, how about that? He’ll ring your doorbell and run away, Though he’s been dead since yesterday! He’ll switch the TV to a monster show, Then whisper, “Behind you!” real soft and low. [Chorus] Oh, Jack, the mischievous ghost, The spookiest prankster from coast to coast! He’ll turn your world upside down, The funniest phantom in the whole darn town! He’ll make you jump, he’ll make you shout, Then float through the wall with a great big pout! Oh, Jack, the mischievous ghost, You’re the one we love to fear the most! [Verse 3] One night old Jack found a sleepy man, With a bowl of popcorn and a remote in his hand. Jack floated in with a wicked grin, And stuffed the poor fellow’s shoes with pudding! He made the lights flicker, he made the floor creak, Then tickled his nose while he tried to sleep. The man yelled, “WHO’S THERE?” and jumped from his bed, Jack laughed so hard that he bumped his head! Well, ghosts don’t bruise, but they sure can cry, When they laugh so hard that they nearly die! [Bridge – Silly, spoken back and forth] Living man: “Who ate my cake?” Jack: “Not me!” Living man: “Who broke my rake?” Jack: “Couldn’t be!” Living man: “Who put my underwear up in a tree?” Jack: “Now THAT sounds like somebody who looks like me!” Ha-ha-ha-ha! BOO! [Verse 4] He puts fake spiders in your stew, And paints a mustache on a picture of you. He makes your alarm clock sing out of tune, Then howls at the window and blames the moon! He dances the cha-cha in the hallway light, And wears your best pajamas every night. But when you get angry and threaten to leave, He gives you a hug through your shirtless sleeve! [Final Chorus – Big, rowdy, sing-along] Oh, Jack, the mischievous ghost, The spookiest prankster from coast to coast! He’ll turn your world upside down, The funniest phantom in the whole darn town! He’ll rattle the doors, make the floorboards creak, Then steal your last cookie while you’re fast asleep! Oh, Jack, the mischievous ghost, The boo-tiful pest that we love the most! Jack, Jack, give us a fright! Jack, Jack, prank us tonight! He’s got no bones and he’s got no shame, And every Halloween, it’s the same old game! [Outro – Slowing down, with a spooky chuckle] So if you hear a giggle when you’re all alone, Or your TV starts talking in a creepy tone… If your toast starts dancing or your shoes turn blue, There’s only one ghost who could do that to you! He’ll tip his hat as he floats through the wall… Then yell, “HAPPY HALLOWEEN!” And trip down the hall! Hee-hee-hee… BOOOOOOO! [Final spoken line] Jack, the mischievous ghost… He’ll be back after midnight
