[Intro: tuba pickup, accordion flourish; brisk stomping 2/4, clarinet enters with a mischievous rising run] [Verse 1: nimble sung lead, clipped brass replies] We locked the fridge at half past eight, Put silver on the garden gate. He watched us from his little bed, One slipper underneath his head. Then moonlight crossed the kitchen tiles. His collar snapped. He grew three sizes. [Pre-Chorus: drums build; melody climbs, brass holds back] The ears stayed up. The legs stayed small. He brought his leash. We climbed the wall. [Chorus: huge melodic ensemble, pounding tuba; exuberant call-and-response] Who’s a bad boy? (Who’s a bad boy now?) Get that coffin out your mouth! You’ve got the hunger, You’ve got the teeth, Four inches of clearance underneath. Who’s a bad boy? Who’s taking who for a walk? [Verse 2: faster vocal phrasing; clarinet darts between lines] He ate the pumpkin, candle lit. He hiccuped orange. We let him sit. A vampire tried to make a stand; He chased the cape, ignored the man. The skeleton escaped the lawn With one leg less than he’d arrived on. [Turnaround: accordion drops to a sly bouncing figure; lead sings sweetly] Drop it, darling. Leave the bone. That gentleman Will need it home. [Chorus: full ensemble; higher harmony, sharper brass accents] Who’s a bad boy? (Who’s a bad boy now?) Get that coffin out your mouth! You’ve got the hunger, You’ve got the teeth, Four inches of clearance underneath. Who’s a bad boy? Who’s taking who for a walk? [Instrumental: eight bars; frantic clarinet and accordion trade phrases over galloping tuba, sudden stop] [Bridge: soft accordion, guilty little bass figure; affectionate sung delivery] We found him hiding in the drapes. His head was in. The rest was out. He wouldn’t look us in the face. We nearly had the beast subdued— Then someone said the word For food. [Final Chorus: explosive ensemble; lead races above the stomping rhythm] Who’s a bad boy? (Who’s a bad boy now?) There goes supper. There goes half the house. The moon went down. He licked my knee. We found his collar underneath the debris. Who’s a good boy? Don’t look at me like that. (Who’s a good boy?) We took him to the vet. He ate the mat. [Outro: instrumental only; triumphant brass reprise, tiny clarinet run, emphatic tuba finish]
