(Quack! Quack! Quack! HONK!) Listen to that noise… The whole stinkin’ pond has gone completely bonkers! (One, two, three, POLKA!) (Yoo-doo-loo-doo-loo-ee!) There’s a ruckus in the river and the feathers start to fly, Every ducky’s throwin' fits and squawkin' at the sky! They’re quackin’ and they’re smackin’ and they’re makin’ such a scene, I can’t even do my crosswords with the noise in between! They push and shove and splash around and flap their little wings, Turnin’ my serene lagoon into a circus ring! I’ve had it to my eyeballs with this feathery stampede, So go and grab the gravy boat, it's ducky time indeed! (Wheee! Honk honk!) Load the gravy guns! Call the hungry boys! (Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!) Duck feast! Duck feast! Pass the orange glaze! No more noisy mallards drivin’ everybody craze! Duck feast! Duck feast! Mop the pond right clean! Servin’ up the loudest flock you’ve ever, ever seen! Quack all you want, but you’re sizzlin' on the grate, You’re goin’ from the paddle-boat straight onto my plate! (Yowza!) They’re fightin' over breadcrumbs like a pile of solid gold, Steppin’ on my toesies and actin’ mighty bold! One is way too chubby, and one is way too loud, And one is doin' backflips right in front of the crowd! I tried to be a sweetie, yeah, I tried to be so nice, I even fed 'em crackers and I offered gentle advice! But these quackers went kooky, yeah, they lost their ducky brain, So fetch the giant soup pot, 'cause I'm goin' insane! (Yodel-ooh-de-lay-hee-hoo!) No more early mornin' quacks! No more soggy tail-feather attacks! Just a calm and quiet lake… And a tasty crispy roast we're gonna make! (Accordion rip!) (QUACK!) (SPLASH!) (BURP!) (YODEL-LAY-HEE-HOO!) (NOM NOM NOM!) Duck feast! Duck feast! Quiet at long last! Servin’ up the duckies on a silver platter fast! Duck feast! Duck feast! Put your bibs right on! Not a single quacker left across the peaceful lawn! Quack all you want, but you’re sizzlin' on the grate, You’re goin’ from the paddle-boat straight onto my plate! (Hey! Hey! Hey!) Ahh… Finally. A nice, quiet pond. Now… anybody got any cranberries?
