[Intro: twin fiddles, steel answer] Down at Doyle's Feed and Seed by the bags of sweet feed There's a free calendar, honey, and it's everything I need [Verse 1] Every New Year Doyle's daughter takes the pictures by the scale Twelve pets of Comal County and a line out past the rail January was a barn cat, February was a rooster March was Judge McAllen's mule in a little Sunday coat April through December, parakeets and pigs and hens And my three legged heeler Tater, passed over yet again [Chorus] Feed store calendar on a nail by the door Eleven years of llamas and a pig named Leonore Every cat in Comal County got a month to call its own And my three legged Tater's sitting in the truck alone I'd trade my truck, I'd trade my pecan pie To see that dog in color on the page for July [Verse 2] So I bought him a bandana, red with little silver stars Taught him to sit pretty on the hood of Daddy's car I baked Doyle three pecan pies and a pan of lemon bars He ate them all by Tuesday and he licked the pan for hours Then he said Loretta, darling, you're a sweetheart and a peach But the photo board's decided and the board is out of reach Now the board is just his wife, and she sneezes at the breed Of anything that isn't sitting on a sack of chicken feed [Chorus] Feed store calendar on a nail by the door Eleven years of llamas and a pig named Leonore Every cat in Comal County got a month to call its own And my three legged Tater's sitting in the truck alone I'd trade my truck, I'd trade my pecan pie To see that dog in color on the page for July [Instrumental: fiddle takes a turn, then steel, then piano] [Spoken: Doyle, deadpan] Loretta, the dog keeps falling over in the pictures He has three legs, we tried, we tried twice The llama has four and a good attitude [Verse 3] Then this December Doyle called me on the feed store line Said bring that dog on down, Loretta, we got a spot this time Not January, honey, not July, not fall or spring It's the back page by the coupon, ten percent off worming things But there's Tater in his bandana, sitting crooked, looking proud Like a senator at a ribbon cutting with the whole town crowd I bought forty extra copies and I mailed them far and wide To my sister and my ex with a paw print on the side [Final Chorus] Feed store calendar on a nail by the door Eleven years of llamas and a pig named Leonore Every cat in Comal County had a month to strut its stuff But the back page is my Tater's and the back page is enough I didn't trade my truck, I didn't need the pie Just a dog by a coupon and a tear in my eye [Outro: fiddle tag, steel swoop] Down at Doyle's Feed and Seed by the bags of sweet feed There's a three legged heeler on the back, and that's all I need
