[Verse 1] Once upon a midnight dark and dreary, In a time long ago, In a realm grim and far, We fought back the hordes Till we stumbled, foot-weary, Our weapons all broken, We fought with our guitar. It shattered on the heads of zombies, It splintered through rev'nants With fountains of gore, It battered them into salami — But alas, spent and split, Our guitar was no more. [Chorus] We are the warriors of night, The paladins of fright. We'll remember your every tear, Dismember every fear. The piss and the metal of darkest fury Breathes from our souls into all our noises; To all you ghouls, We are judge and jury, Executing evil With immaculate voices. [cowbell] [Verse 2] When our fame reached a witch, She repaid with a curse, Hexing our fingers to play only in pain. Bleeding, we played We fought through each verse, We savaged the witch But our vengeance was vain. Then we reached for a note From the depths of black hell, And an unholy toll rang From a crack in the floor; Our bassist matched the low moan o' the bell — Then the witch and the bell both exploded Our bass was no more. [Chorus] We are the warriors of night, The paladins of fright. We'll remember your every tear, Dismember every fear. The piss and the metal of darkest fury Breathes from our souls into all our noises; To all you ghouls, We are judge and jury, Executing evil With immaculate voices. [cowbell] [Verse 3] The devil took umbrage At our theft of his thunder, And he dragged us all down Into brimstone-filled pits; He bound us in chains And near tore us asunder, And he summoned his minions To feast on our wits. But our drummer struck out With a toe for a stick, And he pounded a march That drove demons to war; We ripped ourselves free of chains Black and slick — Till the devil, enraged, rent the skins: Our drums were no more. [Bridge] [Savage a cappella solo] [roars and screams of rage] [Chorus] We are the warriors of night, The paladins of fright. We'll remember your every tear, Dismember every fear. The piss and the metal of darkest fury Breathes from our souls into all our noises; To all you ghouls, We are judge and jury, Executing evil with immaculate voices. [cowbell] [Verse 4] Barely alive, we lurched into A smoke-blackened bar, We bought a round for the crowd And we told them our story; We flagged down a cab We bragged in the car, Singing each detail, No matter how gory. We crowed of our masterful violence, Sang of our triumph in darkness In ignorance blithe, Sure we could never be silenced — "Hush" said the driver He pulled up his black hood And pulled out his scythe [cowbell]
