[Intro – quick angular guitar riff, drums immediately driving forward] [Verse 1 – rapid conversational female punk vocal] You've been talking for a while, I've been nodding like I know, Every seven seconds I deploy another “Oh.” Yeah. Right. No way. That's mad. Perfect little phrases for whatever conversation we're having. You mentioned someone called Claire, or Clare without an I? Something about a birthday and a bloke who told a lie. I caught the word “kitchen.” Then “Tuesday.” Then “police.” [Female vocal – quietly] What the fuck have I missed between these? [Pre-Chorus – quick nervous build] Maintain eye contact. Occasionally frown. Laugh when they laugh. Do NOT look down. She's still going. We're doing fine. [Female vocal] Haven't understood a fucking word since nine. [Chorus – bright explosive punk vocal] I wasn't listening! I'm sorry, I really fucking tried! I wasn't listening! But I've been saying “yeah” at roughly the right times! You've been talking for eleven minutes straight— [Shouted] AND NOW YOU'VE ASKED A QUESTION! [Brief stop] [Female vocal] Fuck. [Instrumental – frantic melodic guitar riff] [Verse 2 – dense rapid-fire punk delivery] Okay, reconstruct it: Claire, kitchen, Tuesday, police, Someone threw a bottle, someone's mother called Denise. There was definitely a taxi. Possibly a fight. Someone wasn't invited but apparently stayed the night. You've said “he” fourteen times. Who the fuck is he? Is he Claire's boyfriend? Brother? Boss? Enemy? Can't ask now. Way too late. I've nodded through enough to implicate myself in this debate. [Fast rhythmic vocals] “That's awful.” Useful. “Fair enough.” Neutral. “You're joking!” Good when uncertain. “What a cunt.” [Brief stop] High risk. Surprisingly versatile. [Chorus – louder] I wasn't listening! I'm sorry, my brain just fucking left! I wasn't listening! But socially I've given it my best! I've gasped. I've frowned. I've gone “Oh my God!” [Shouted] I'VE PERFORMED THE FULL EMOTIONAL CATALOGUE! [Instrumental Break – bouncing bass, fast drums, jagged guitar] [Bridge – instruments thin out, vocal remains rhythmic rather than spoken] Then you lean forward, look me dead in the eye: “So... do you think I should marry him?” [Long instrumental pause] [Female vocal – sung cautiously] Right. Him. Obviously. The... man. From earlier. [Drums begin building] This feels like a question where “that's mad” probably won't fucking work. [Band crashes back] [Final Verse – frantic rapid-fire vocals] BUYING TIME! TAKE A DRINK! MAKE A FACE THAT SUGGESTS YOU THINK! REPEAT THE QUESTION! CLASSIC MOVE! “DO I THINK YOU SHOULD MARRY HIM?” WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON YOU! [Fast female vocal] How does he make you feel? What do you actually want? Have you talked about the future? Does he— [Brief pause] [Female vocal – surprised] Holy shit. I'm fucking good at this. [Shout-sung] ASK OPEN QUESTIONS! LET THEM SPEAK! THEY'LL ANSWER THEIR OWN PROBLEM WHILE YOU NOD AND LOOK DEEP! NO CONTEXT! NO CLUE! NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT EITHER OF YOU DO! But somehow she smiles and says: “That's exactly what I needed.” [Hard stop] [Female vocal] Is it? [Final Chorus – huge playful punk vocal] I wasn't listening! Not even a little fucking bit! I wasn't listening! But apparently I'm brilliant at this shit! You got clarity! I survived! Everybody fucking wins tonight! [Shouted] JUST PLEASE DON'T ASK ME WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT! [Final guitar riff] [Outro – female vocal over final riff] Anyway— Claire sounds lovely. [Brief stop] [Female vocal] Oh. She's the one you hate. Right. [Final hit]
