[Verse I] I said I'd rather die than go back. I meant it then. I mean it now. Ten years in Hell belonged to Zariel; The rest was mine, and that was the vow. I fought too hard to reach this city, To feel the sun and call it home. I knew the price of staying free. I only thought I'd pay it alone. But now you say that you'll come with me, Like that could change what “back” might mean. The place is still the place I fled. The choice is not the one it's been. [Chorus] I said I'd rather die than go back, Than wear her chains another day. But no one's dragging me to Avernus. You're asking me to choose the way. I can stay beneath this open sky And keep the promise that got me through, Or walk back into Hell still free Because this time I'm choosing too. I know which answer kept me living. I know which one I've always sworn. But does going back mean giving in If I go back On my own terms? [Verse II] Don't tell me Hell will be less Hellish Because I'll have you at my side. I know the roads. I know the armies. I know the things that wait inside. I know what fear can do to living, How every shadow starts to move. Survival isn't worth all prices. I don't have anything to prove. I have the right to draw a boundary, To say ten years was quite enough. Wanting life does not require me To call unbearable things love. But gods, I want the life I'm losing— The meals, the mornings, touch and noise. And now that life is back before me Because you gave me back a choice. [Chorus] I said I'd rather die than go back, Than wear her chains another day. But no one's dragging me to Avernus. You're asking me to choose the way. I can stay beneath this open sky And keep the promise that got me through, Or walk back into Hell still free Because this time I'm choosing too. If fear can tell me where I cannot go, Does Hell still own a piece of me? Or is refusing what destroyed me Exactly what it means To be free? [Verse III] And what about the life you're offering? You say you'll spend it at my side. My first thought's still to tell you, Don't. You shouldn't have to pay because I die. You don't know Hell the way I know it. You don't know what you're choosing yet. But someone choosing life for someone Is how I ended in this mess. Nobody asked me. You are asking. Nobody gave me room to choose. So if I claim your choice means nothing, I'm using what was used on me. I cannot ask you to respect The choice I've made about my life, Then tell you yours is mine to overrule Because I know the higher price. [Bridge] I want to live. There's no shame in it. I want the years I thought I'd lose. I want a thousand boring mornings. I want the right to get to choose. But I meant every word I told you: I'd rather die than be enslaved. So which one am I choosing now— The freedom that I fought to save, Or life in the one place I swore Would never own my heart again? And if I enter by my choosing, Am I returning As I went? [Final Chorus] I said I'd rather die than go back. I mean it. That's what makes this hard. I'd rather die than live as property, Another weapon for her wars. But no one's selling me to Avernus. No one's ordering me through. There's only Hell, my failing engine, And someone saying, I'll go too. I can stay beneath this open sky. I can take your hand and leave. One choice says Hell will never have me. One says Hell won't bury me. Both sound like freedom when I say them. Both sound like fear when I don't. So tell me— No. Don't tell me. This one Has to be My own.
