Gotta Be Quick

Now down in South Florida, they got a little problem
With them Burmese pythons gettin’ fat in the grass
So me and four fellas signed up one night
To go save a few critters from a reptile buffet

I said, “Boys, it ain’t complicated"
"You shine the light, spot the pattern, move slick."
"But once you see him, don’t stand there prayin’ about it”
I said, “Grab him with both hands. You gotta be quick.”

Doyle wore camo from his hat to his britches
Said, “Boys, I was born for this here night.”
Junior had gloves up to both of his elbows
And his face was already three shades white

Wade said, “I ain’t scared of nothin’,”
Then jumped when a bullfrog croaked
Lonnie said, “What’s the plan again?”
And I said, “Son, you gotta be quick.”

We went python huntin’ in the Everglades tonight
Grab ’em barehanded when they slide into the light
Everybody talked big (Everybody talked big)
Everybody talked strong (Everybody talked strong)
Then someone hollered, “Catch em quick!”
And the big ol' snake was gone

First thing moved was a cypress root
Doyle hit the mud with a rebel yell
Junior grabbed Wade by the belt loop
Wade grabbed Junior and they both near fell

Lonnie dove on a piece of black rubber
Held it up like a trophy stick
I said, “That’s a busted truck strap, boy"
"But I do like the way you was quick."

Now I am a patient man
I said, “Fellas, don’t grab every root, rope, belt, hose frog, stick, strap, vine, or suspicious shadow you see.”
Junior said, “I’d like that in writing.”
Lonnie said, “I knew that wasn’t a snake.”
I said, “Junior, you screamed ‘Mama’ in cursive.”
"And Lonnie, you tackled that cypress tree like it owed you money!"

Then the sawgrass parted quiet
And the whole swamp seemed to hold its breath
There lay a python big as trouble
Lookin’ like a garden hose of death

I whispered, “There he is, boys”
And Doyle gave Junior a kick
Junior said, “I believe Wade’s closer”
And I said, “Boys, you gotta be quick.”

Doyle lunged with a mighty shout
Wade went left and Junior went under
Lonnie’s boots went north and his hat flew south
Junior came up with scales in his fingers
And I yelled, “Boy, don’t lose your grip!”

We went python huntin’ in the Everglades tonight
Grab it barehanded when it slides into the light
Everybody pointed (Everybody pointed)
Nobody held on (Nobody held on)
Then someone hollered, “Catch him quick!”
And the big ol' snake was gone

Well, Junior's eyes got big as hubcaps
His knees commenced to knock
He said, “Somebody help me hold this critter
Before my heart done stops.”

Doyle said, “Hold him, son, you’re famous!”
Wade said, “That’s a real fine trick.”
Lonnie said, “I’d help but I’m emotionally injured”
And I said, “See? You gotta be quick.”

We went python huntin’ in the Everglades tonight
Grab ’em barehanded when they slide into the light
Everybody talked big, everybody talked strong
Then someone hollered, “Catch em quick!”
And the big ol' snake was gone

Now technically, we had participated in invasive species removal
Not well
But participated
Junior asked, “Do I get a certificate?”
I said, “Son, you get a shower and a story.”

Yeah, we went python huntin’, and here’s the part that sticks
You can talk all night about courage and grit
But when that grass starts movin’
And I say, “Boys, this is it”
You ain’t got time to think

You gotta be quick

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Now down in South Florida, they got a little problem With them Burmese pythons gettin’ fat in the grass So me and four fellas signed up one night To go save a few critters from a reptile buffet I said, “Boys, it ain’t complicated" "You shine the light, spot the pattern, move slick." "But once you see him, don’t stand there prayin’ about it” I said, “Grab him with both hands. You gotta be quick.” Doyle wore camo from his hat to his britches Said, “Boys, I was born for this here night.” Junior had gloves up to both of his elbows And his face was already three shades white Wade said, “I ain’t scared of nothin’,” Then jumped when a bullfrog croaked Lonnie said, “What’s the plan again?” And I said, “Son, you gotta be quick.” We went python huntin’ in the Everglades tonight Grab ’em barehanded when they slide into the light Everybody talked big (Everybody talked big) Everybody talked strong (Everybody talked strong) Then someone hollered, “Catch em quick!” And the big ol' snake was gone First thing moved was a cypress root Doyle hit the mud with a rebel yell Junior grabbed Wade by the belt loop Wade grabbed Junior and they both near fell Lonnie dove on a piece of black rubber Held it up like a trophy stick I said, “That’s a busted truck strap, boy" "But I do like the way you was quick." We went python huntin’ in the Everglades tonight Grab ’em barehanded when they slide into the light Everybody talked big (Everybody talked big) Everybody talked strong (Everybody talked strong) Then someone hollered, “Catch em quick!” And the big ol' snake was gone Now I am a patient man I said, “Fellas, don’t grab every root, rope, belt, hose frog, stick, strap, vine, or suspicious shadow you see.” Junior said, “I’d like that in writing.” Lonnie said, “I knew that wasn’t a snake.” I said, “Junior, you screamed ‘Mama’ in cursive.” "And Lonnie, you tackled that cypress tree like it owed you money!" Then the sawgrass parted quiet And the whole swamp seemed to hold its breath There lay a python big as trouble Lookin’ like a garden hose of death I whispered, “There he is, boys” And Doyle gave Junior a kick Junior said, “I believe Wade’s closer” And I said, “Boys, you gotta be quick.” Doyle lunged with a mighty shout Wade went left and Junior went under Lonnie’s boots went north and his hat flew south Junior came up with scales in his fingers And I yelled, “Boy, don’t lose your grip!” We went python huntin’ in the Everglades tonight Grab it barehanded when it slides into the light Everybody pointed (Everybody pointed) Nobody held on (Nobody held on) Then someone hollered, “Catch him quick!” And the big ol' snake was gone Well, Junior's eyes got big as hubcaps His knees commenced to knock He said, “Somebody help me hold this critter Before my heart done stops.” Doyle said, “Hold him, son, you’re famous!” Wade said, “That’s a real fine trick.” Lonnie said, “I’d help but I’m emotionally injured” And I said, “See? You gotta be quick.” We went python huntin’ in the Everglades tonight Grab ’em barehanded when they slide into the light Everybody talked big, everybody talked strong Then someone hollered, “Catch em quick!” And the big ol' snake was gone Now technically, we had participated in invasive species removal Not well But participated Junior asked, “Do I get a certificate?” I said, “Son, you get a shower and a story.” Yeah, we went python huntin’, and here’s the part that sticks You can talk all night about courage and grit But when that grass starts movin’ And I say, “Boys, this is it” You ain’t got time to think You gotta be quick

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