[Intro] (Ooh, ooh) (The stars are watching) (The ley lines are pulsing) [Verse 1] I stood upon the platform of the morning train With a pointed hat and a heart full of stain The commuters were silent, the air was cold Until I revealed what the prophecies foretold I gripped my staff of knotted yew And cast a spell that nobody knew I pulled a rabbit from my zippered fly And waved it at a grandmother passing by [Pre-Chorus] The mana is rising in my veins I am breaking all the earthly chains (He’s breaking the law) (He’s breaking the law) [Chorus] Oh, I am running away from the constables now With a sparkling glint on my sweaty brow I turned a pigeon into a giant phallus In the middle of the courtyard at Buckingham Palace My robe is open, the wind is free I’m a master of high-level lechery (Magic in the dark) (Magic in the park) [Verse 2] I went to the library, silent and still To give the local students a magical thrill I cast "Greater Lubricant" on every chair And summoned a cloud of pubic hair I whispered an incantation, low and deep And made the stone gargoyles start to weep I turned the holy water into lukewarm tea Then pissed in the fountain of the embassy [Pre-Chorus] The mana is rising in my veins I am breaking all the earthly chains (He’s making a scene) (He’s being quite mean) [Chorus] Oh, I am running away from the constables now With a sparkling glint on my sweaty brow I turned a pigeon into a giant phallus In the middle of the courtyard at Buckingham Palace My robe is open, the wind is free I’m a master of high-level lechery [Bridge] (Incantations) (Masturbatory vibrations) I cast a fireball at a traffic light Because the color red didn't feel quite right I turned a school bus into a block of cheese Then fell to my knees in the summer breeze I am the Archmage of the Filthy Arts I speak in tongues and I speak in farts [Breakdown] (Breathless gasping) (Chime sounds) (Deep, resonant bass pulse) [Final Chorus] Oh, I am running away from the constables now With a sparkling glint on my sweaty brow I turned a pigeon into a giant phallus In the middle of the courtyard at Buckingham Palace My robe is open, the wind is free I’m a master of high-level lechery [Outro] (Runaway) (Runaway) (Before the taser hits) (Ooh, ooh) I’m vanishing in a cloud of glitter and shame (He forgot his trousers) (He forgot his name) [Fade out] [End]
