A Grand of Cocks in the Barn

Country, southern accent, male vocal, acoustic instruments only, playful, humorous; sing text only, stretch “Yee-haa!” across phrase, no modern electric guitars

[TECH TASK: COUNTRY, southern accent, male vocal, acoustic instruments only, no electric guitars, playful, humorous, 90-100 BPM, Suono to sing text only; all instructions in brackets not sung]

[Intro Chorus]
Ooh-ooh, gobble-gobble, waddle on the farm,  
Ooh-ooh, cluckity, keep away the harm.  
Ooh-ooh, whistle-woo, shake your feathers high,  
[Yee-haa! — vocally stretched across the full musical phrase]

🪶 Verse 1
It’s not that Johnny’s dumb since birth, you see —  
[humor, southern drawl]  
Just a touch of brain decay from whiskey spree.  
One drunken night he had a brilliant plan —  
To raise some turkeys, be a real country man.  
The days rolled by in one big boozy fog,  
While Johnny shrank from moonshine and the slog.  
But birds refused to breed or make a peep —  
Turns out his flock was all toms, no hens to keep.

[Chorus]
Ooh-ooh, gobble-gobble, waddle on the farm,  
Ooh-ooh, cluckity, keep away the harm.  
Ooh-ooh, whistle-woo, shake your feathers high,  
[Yee-haa! — vocally stretched across the full musical phrase]

🪶 Verse 2
The laws of nature stand, unbent, unshaken,  
And Johnny learned that truth, quite overtaken.  
One fateful dawn he faced a lust-starved crowd —  
Of toms with love to spare, and gobbling loud.  
They eyed him close with fiery, dreamy glance,  
Their feathers flared — a courtship dance.  
In every gobble hummed desire’s tune —  
And Johnny knew — they’d start to mount him soon.

🪶 Verse 3
Leaping lightly on a mound of dung,  
He yelled, “You freaks! I’m a man — here’s my dick!”  
He showed it off, before it was too late,  
His cock hard and proud, while he wobbled on the state.  
Like monkeys facing a snake, in daze and awe,  
Like fools entranced by Jersey Shore’s law,  
Before Johnny — a motionless flock,  
A crowd of beauties, feathered, huge, and stock.

🪶 Verse 4
Our Johnny freaked at what he saw,  
This unexpected effect left him in awe.  
To boost his cred, he tossed with flair  
A firecracker at the birds in the air.  
Evolution never teaches that trick,  
The foe collapsed and lost his lusty kick,  
And thousands of innocent turkey souls  
Left the confines of their mortal roles.

🪶 Outro
All night Johnny drank, then fell asleep,  
When suddenly a shot rang out, cutting deep.  
Johnny awoke with a hangover so dire —  
Across the river, the bankrupt insurance chief had fired.

[Instrumental outro — acoustic guitars, fiddle, banjo, playful, southern country style]

2870/7500

[TECH TASK: COUNTRY, southern accent, male vocal, acoustic instruments only, no electric guitars, playful, humorous, 90-100 BPM, Suono to sing text only; all instructions in brackets not sung] [Intro Chorus] Ooh-ooh, gobble-gobble, waddle on the farm, Ooh-ooh, cluckity, keep away the harm. Ooh-ooh, whistle-woo, shake your feathers high, [Yee-haa! — vocally stretched across the full musical phrase] 🪶 Verse 1 It’s not that Johnny’s dumb since birth, you see — [humor, southern drawl] Just a touch of brain decay from whiskey spree. One drunken night he had a brilliant plan — To raise some turkeys, be a real country man. The days rolled by in one big boozy fog, While Johnny shrank from moonshine and the slog. But birds refused to breed or make a peep — Turns out his flock was all toms, no hens to keep. [Chorus] Ooh-ooh, gobble-gobble, waddle on the farm, Ooh-ooh, cluckity, keep away the harm. Ooh-ooh, whistle-woo, shake your feathers high, [Yee-haa! — vocally stretched across the full musical phrase] 🪶 Verse 2 The laws of nature stand, unbent, unshaken, And Johnny learned that truth, quite overtaken. One fateful dawn he faced a lust-starved crowd — Of toms with love to spare, and gobbling loud. They eyed him close with fiery, dreamy glance, Their feathers flared — a courtship dance. In every gobble hummed desire’s tune — And Johnny knew — they’d start to mount him soon. [Chorus] Ooh-ooh, gobble-gobble, waddle on the farm, Ooh-ooh, cluckity, keep away the harm. Ooh-ooh, whistle-woo, shake your feathers high, [Yee-haa! — vocally stretched across the full musical phrase] 🪶 Verse 3 Leaping lightly on a mound of dung, He yelled, “You freaks! I’m a man — here’s my dick!” He showed it off, before it was too late, His cock hard and proud, while he wobbled on the state. Like monkeys facing a snake, in daze and awe, Like fools entranced by Jersey Shore’s law, Before Johnny — a motionless flock, A crowd of beauties, feathered, huge, and stock. 🪶 Verse 4 Our Johnny freaked at what he saw, This unexpected effect left him in awe. To boost his cred, he tossed with flair A firecracker at the birds in the air. Evolution never teaches that trick, The foe collapsed and lost his lusty kick, And thousands of innocent turkey souls Left the confines of their mortal roles. [Chorus] Ooh-ooh, gobble-gobble, waddle on the farm, Ooh-ooh, cluckity, keep away the harm. Ooh-ooh, whistle-woo, shake your feathers high, [Yee-haa! — vocally stretched across the full musical phrase] 🪶 Outro All night Johnny drank, then fell asleep, When suddenly a shot rang out, cutting deep. Johnny awoke with a hangover so dire — Across the river, the bankrupt insurance chief had fired. [Instrumental outro — acoustic guitars, fiddle, banjo, playful, southern country style]

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