Plastic Smile

[Verse 1] I kept it locked up in my chest like a secret wound With a plastic smile while I was choking in my room I knew who I was, but I played the part they chose Too scared to let my strange heart ever really show My parents said, “No, don’t do this, don’t be that” “Cut it out, be normal, put the costume back” So I buried every instinct, every claw, every cry While the moon outside was pulling at my tired eyes [Pre-Chorus] And I heard it in my bones like a runaway train A wild little voice that I couldn’t explain They pointed and they laughed like I was some kind of joke Like being myself was a match and they were waiting for the smoke [Chorus] I wanted to howl at the moon I wanted to rip right through All the lies, all the fear, all the bruises they gave me I was a furry, and I wanted to be me But they laughed in my face, said it was a disgrace Like I was a loon, just a kid out of place Now I’m done, I’m done hiding in the dark I’m coming out fierce with this broken heart [Verse 2] I wore their expectations like a heavy second skin Every night I’d let the shame and doubt crawl in I tried to act “okay” when I was falling apart While my real self beat like thunder underneath my heart They called me weird, called me sick, said I’d never belong So I swallowed every word and sang a different song But the silence got louder, and the pain got loud too And every mirror told me I was cutting myself in two [Pre-Chorus] And I was tired of being scared of my own reflection Tired of living like I needed their correction If they can’t love the wild thing that I know I am Then I’ll take back my name, I’ll take back my hands [Chorus] I wanted to howl at the moon I wanted to rip right through All the lies, all the fear, all the bruises they gave me I was a furry, and I wanted to be me But they laughed in my face, said it was a disgrace Like I was a loon, just a kid out of place Now I’m done, I’m done hiding in the dark I’m coming out fierce with this broken heart [Bridge] Let the whole world stare, let the whole world talk I’ve been living in a cage and I am done with the lock I’m not your mistake, not your punchline, not your sin I’m a wildfire finally learning where I fit in If I’m too loud, too raw, too strange, too real That’s the truth of my teeth, that’s the truth I feel And if I break, let me break in the light I’d rather be honest than dead inside [Final Chorus] I wanted to howl at the moon So now I’m singing it through Every scar, every scream, every night that I bled I was hiding a life they were never gonna get They can laugh if they want, call me names all night long But I’m done being quiet, I’m done playing along I’m not hiding anymore, I’m out in the spark Howling back to the world from the edge of my heart [Outro] Yeah, I’m done hiding now I’m done hiding now Howl at the moon with me somehow I’m done hiding now