I used to speak what I was thinking Words fell honest from my mouth Every ideation spoken Every question said out loud I would stay up drawing pictures Of the person I might be Before every open doorway Started closing quietly I was clumsy with affection I believed what I was told Never knew I'd lose the pieces Parts of me I couldn't hold There are traces in the basement In old boxes on the floor Of a child who spoke too loudly And doesn’t live here anymore Too late Too far Now there's nothing left of me I fell apart broken pieces falling free If either one remains neither version can sustain No voice No me Just fragments of who I used to be I learned how to think in silence Keep my doubts beneath my tongue How to cut away the instincts That once made me feel like someone I wore shame like it was righteous Like the weight would make me clean Broke myself against their values Still just wanting to be seen I became what kept me welcome What would keep the silence still Traded pieces for approval Slowly bent against my will Tearing sermons from my conscious burning prayers out from my bones When I cut away that part of me I was once again alone Too late Too far Now there's nothing left of me I fell apart broken pieces falling free If either one remains neither version can sustain No voice No me Just fragments of who I used to be Like a shadow in a world that I’ve never lived inside Every mirror shows a stranger Wearing fragments of my life There are habits in my body That my mind no longer knows Muscle memories unforgotten Words stuck swallowed in my throat I can hear the two still fighting Somewhere underneath my skin One with work I left half-finished One desperate to live again And there’s nothing in the middle of the shadows left behind Just the empty space between them and the war inside my mind Too late Too far Now there's nothing left of me I fell apart broken pieces falling free If either one remains neither version can sustain No voice No me Just fragments of who I used to be
