[Intro] Out in O.K. Radtown where the dry wind moaned And the busted signs rattled by the cracked old road A pair of strangers came ridin’ in, all mean and tall Talkin’ big talk, sayin’ Kenta had to duel or fall [Verse 1] Kenta came walkin’ with a twitch in his eye Sweat drippin’ down his forehead, but he still stood dry His boots kicked dust, his jaw locked tight Though his knees said “run,” he tried to look like fight And behind him came his weird little crew The finest broken fighters that the whole server knew Drutten had a flamethrower held up with pride But forgot the fuel, so it just clicked at his side Benni brought poopbags, said “Boys, I’m armed” But the bags weren’t filled, which caused alarm So he waddled off clenchin’, groanin’ with strain Tryin’ to load fresh ammo while cryin’ in pain Boom rolled up in a camper, rusty, loud, absurd With machine gun turrets that no sane man preferred They spun and rattled and aimed at the sky At a cactus, a barrel, and a passing fly Deda yelled, “I got AK!” and the strangers all froze But AK was a man who just picked at his nose Raven had a wooden machine gun painted black And Illu held flower bouquets in a nervous stack [Pre-Chorus] The wind stopped blowin’ The street went still One dog farted softly And rolled down the hill [Chorus] Whoa-oh, Twelve G wild side Nobody knew if they’d win or hide Whoa-oh, dumb pride worldwide Twelve bad plans on the Twelve G wild side [Verse 2] The strangers reached down with a sneer and a grin Thinkin’ this would be the easiest fight they’d ever win But then Boom hit a button and the turrets went mad Sprayin’ every direction like a camper gone bad Drutten pulled the trigger, got nothin’ but smoke Then threw the empty flamethrower and tripped on a rope Benni came runnin’ with a bag warm and round Slipped in the dust and launched it high off the ground It smacked one stranger right square in the chest He screamed in disgust and forgot all the rest Raven raised his wooden gun and shouted “Take this!” Then the stock fell off with a pathetic little hiss Illu stepped forward with his flowers held high One stranger got poked in the face and started to cry Deda yelled, “Get AK!” and poor AK ran late Then tackled the wrong guy but it still worked out great Kenta shut his eyes and fired way too soon Missed both the strangers, hit a water tank boom It burst with a crack and a muddy brown spray The strangers slipped screaming and crawled away [Chorus] Whoa-oh, Twelve G wild side Everything went wrong but they still won the fight Whoa-oh, dumb pride worldwide Luck rode shotgun on the Twelve G wild side [Bridge] One was laughin’ One was cryin’ Benni said his stomach was still actively tryin’ Boom was shoutin’ Drutten lied Said “I meant to bring no fuel, that was tactical pride” The strangers fled screamin’ down the Radtown trail “We swear we won’t return! We swear! We fail!” They ran so fast one boot came off And the whole Twelve crew just stood there and laughed [Verse 3] Then the cheers broke out in the golden light They praised each other like heroes that night “Kenta, you stood there!” “Illu, nice flowers too!” “Boom, those turrets near killed all of us, but good for you!” “Benni, that bag changed the whole damn war!” “Drutten, your empty gun scared ‘em some more!” “Raven, that wooden machine gun sure looked mean!” “Deda and AK, best confusion we’ve ever seen!” Then Benni said, “Shame there weren’t some girls around…” And a strange little silence fell over the town Somebody coughed, somebody stared at a shoe Somebody muttered, “Well… anyway…” like people do [Outro] Then Admin stepped up with a thoughtful face Said, “Might’ve been more interesting with more enemies in place Two strangers versus all twelve of you seems a little uneven, son” But the boys cried, “Two? Hell no! There was a hundred and one!” “At least a hundred!” “Armed to the teeth!” “Came over the hills!” “Beneath every wreath!” Their voices got quieter, driftin’ absurd Till all you could hear was a mumblin’ herd “Hundred… easy…” “Maybe more…” “Biggest battle…” “Ever before…” [mumbling fades out]
