What's Come Over Carol-Ann?

[Verse 1 – Jaunty piano and finger-snaps] 🎶 Carol-Ann dusts off the credenza, But something’s boilin’ her agenda! Across the street in ripped-up jeans… Lives the wildest girl she’s ever seen! [Verse 2 – Horns slide, tension bubbles] She’s got spots like gold and a jungle laugh, Purple hair like a velvet path— Marv don’t see it (he’s glued to the set) While Carol-Ann’s upper lip quivers and sweats! [Chorus – Swingin’, backup singers chiming in] 🎤 It's Scuzzy! (Scuzzy!) She’s movin’ in heat! 🎤 Raw wild walkin’ on digitigrade feet! 🎤 Now Carol-Ann’s heart’s takin’ a stand— 🎤 And Marv just eats beans from a can! [Bridge – Slow and torchy, strings tremble] She used to care about casserole size… Now it’s fangs and thighs and spotted sighs. She clips coupons with a hand that shakes— And dreams of paws in the icing she bakes… [Chorus – Fever-pitch mania disguised as cheer] 🎤 It’s Scuzzy! (Scuzzy!) In denim delight! 🎤 Carol-Ann’s burnin’ and it ain’t from the light! 🎤 She’s got curlers in and her morals on fire— 🎤 ‘Cause Marv ain’t never lit her desire! [Outro – Soft dissolve into woodwinds] 🎶 What’s come over Carol-Ann? (Hint: It ain’t Marv.) It’s the hyena next door… And she’s ready to snarl. [Chorus – Repeats increasingly unhinged into a fade out] 🎤 It’s Scuzzy! (Scuzzy!) In denim delight! 🎤 Carol-Ann’s burnin’ and it ain’t from the light! 🎤 She’s got curlers in and her morals on fire— 🎤 ‘Cause Marv ain’t never lit her desire!