Dead Inside

I demonise myself and damage my health... not because I want to, but from what I've been through... it's nobodies fault, but my own, I'm acutely aware... it's why I'm alone... I'll never claim that life is unfair... if only I'd known how to better self care... I just wasn't aware... so now I lay prone, and I'm the asshole that put me there... Because I'm dead... dead... dead... dead inside! And I've got no... no... no... where to hide! I'll never know what it means to feel satisfied... only to have my poor choices gratified... I've got this hollowness inside... like the rotting poison of insecticide... if I swallowed my pride... could I turn this tide... will my heartache ever subside... wounded, I yelled, and I cried... Because I'm dead... dead... dead... dead inside! And I've got no... no... no... where to hide!