**[STADIUM INTRO]** **STOMP! STOMP! CLAP!** **ANNOUNCER:** Welcome to the **INSULT ROAST TOUR!** **CROWD:** ROAST! ROAST! ROAST! How many brain cells? **CROWD:** TWO! Fighting for? **CROWD:** THIRD PLACE! --- **CHORUS** It’s the **INSULT ROAST TOUR!** Worldwide disgrace! London says **“muppet,”** Sydney says **“cooked,”** Toronto says **“sorry,”** Texas says **“bless your heart.”** France just shrugs, Germany brings a chart, Italy uses both hands— **CROWD:** YOU’RE NOT THE SHARP ONE! You travelled round the whole damn world just to hear everybody clap back! --- **RAP BREAK** Britain! **CROWD:** MUPPET! Canada! **CROWD:** SORRY! New York! **CROWD:** MOVE! Australia! **CROWD:** COOKED! New Zealand! **CROWD:** BIT DIM! Japan! **CROWD:** MISSED THE TRAIN! Brazil! **CROWD:** CONFIDENCE FIRST! Mexico! **CROWD:** PLAN GOT WORSE! **LEAD:** And what did the whole world say? **CROWD:** MATE, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! --- **BRIDGE** Your ego left London. **CROWD:** GONE! Your pride died in France. **CROWD:** GONE! Your logic got lost overseas. **CROWD:** GONE! Your comeback’s still buffering. **CROWD:** BUFFERING! Your brain is still loading. **CROWD:** LOADING! --- **FINAL CHORUS** It’s the **INSULT ROAST TOUR!** **CROWD:** ROAST! ROAST! ROAST! You came here feeling ten feet tall— **CROWD:** NOW LOOK AT YOU, YOU’RE SMALL! How many brain cells? **CROWD:** TWO! Fighting for? **CROWD:** THIRD PLACE! **ALL:** **OI! OI! OI!** **STOMP! STOMP! CLAP!** **INSULT! ROAST! TOUR!**
