Too Slow for the Wild West

[intro harmonica wild west style] (Verse 1) Well, I rolled up to the pearly gates, Dust still settlin’ on my fate. Saint Peter tipped his hat and said, "Son, you’re late—yer good an’ dead." (Verse 2) I asked him where the quick ones go, He laughed and said, "Down there, below!" "Up here, we got the slowest hands, The twitchin’-challenged, one-gun band." (Chorus) Welcome to the land of the second-best, The ones who blinked in a shootin’ test.* We aimed real true, but we shot too late, Now we’re ghost-town drifters at the pearly gate. 🎵 (Verse 3) There’s One-Shot Billy and Too-Late Clyde, Miss Molly misfired and took one ‘tween the eyes. Ol’ Sheriff Buck, he slipped on his spurs, Now he’s drinkin’ clouds instead of sarsaparillas. (Verse 4) We don’t need no six-gun fights, Ain't no duels in angel white. Just playin’ cards and singin’ tunes, While the devil dances down in Tombstone’s saloon. (Chorus - Repeat) Welcome to the land of the second-best, The ones who blinked in a shootin’ test.* We aimed real true, but we shot too late, Now we’re ghost-town drifters at the pearly gate. 🎵 (Outro) So if you’re ridin’ through the west, Keep your hand fast and your aim the best. But if you’re slow, don’t get too stressed, There’s a spot for you in the Wild West Rest.