( Verses ) Reel to real playin' dancehall tunes On an oak stump, in Mississippi murk Rubber band wadded, tail front of her dad's shirt Before the phone wires sliced by me and her Back in the fourth grade took two yard sticks Glued 'em end to end to the linoleum Made a runway for my snail races Singin' the tulip song by Tiny Tim She stuffed his danglin' legs in Hefty black bags The rest rode in steam trunks from estate sales Convinced each other with nary a whimper Best rely on three squares served hot in jail Kissed her first boy at the three legged race First she twitched, said then her freckles froze When eleven that boy's, kissing left her face Landed somewhere, she told me, down below ( Chorus ) Sliding 'cross Miss Debold's Splash pad Cigarette tag atop Blackberry Hill Figurin' five gears on a spider bike She's my best bud, and luvin' her still! Backed into a shotgun wedding No secret, our scathingly brilliant plan! Slow danced to "Won't Get Fooled Again." Honeymooned against statue 'bout Vietnam ( Chorus ) Sliding 'cross Miss Debold's Splash pad Cigarette tag atop Blackberry Hill Figurin' five gears on a spider bike She's my best bud, and luvin' her still! Backed into a shotgun wedding No secret, our scathingly brilliant plan! Slow danced to "Won't Get Fooled Again." Honeymooned against statue 'bout Vietnam Scored us a plump yeller street guide On the mighty bucks we saved By causing a moderate disturbance We've titled "The Ranting and The Rave" It was a music store in Tupelo All plastered with Elvis in his prime Slipped me a B-Flat blues mouth harp Now I practice Neil Young's "Thrasher" all the time! My woman springs free the Snoopy rubber bands From her dad's checkered shirt, bundled 'neath her breast Sighs, "It's smolderin' like seared copper wire!" Her dad taught her welding, 'least for that she's blessed Two AM, I wake from a smothered THUMP! Baby says," I hit too hard, those railroad tracks. Promised I'd keep an eye out for the pink moon." Nick Drake wrote the most precious song about that ( Chorus ) Sliding 'cross Miss Debold's splash pad Cigarette tag atop Blackberry Hill Figurin' five gears on a spider bike She's my best bud, and luvin' her still! Backed into a shotgun wedding No secret, our scathingly brilliant plan! Slow danced to "Won't Get Fooled Again." Honeymooned against statue 'bout Vietnam ( Verses ) Sun rises like a recess playground ball Those red and scratchy ones with that pinging sound I grab Kansas City style Beef Jerky My wife's pumpin' gas and looking around She sheepishly taps the graveyard shift cashier Drops to her knees, bellows I JUST KILLED MY DAD! "He's packed in two trunks, one for each bad year. Still, he's the only good Father........... I ever had!"
