Afraid of the Light

[Music begins with a slow, vinyl-crackling drum loop and a deep, resonant bassline. A melancholic synth pad swells underneath] [Verse 1] [Melancholic, breathy female vocals, almost spoken, in the style of Portishead or early Tricky] The drapes are drawn, a second skin of lead Keeps out the daydreams that the living spread I chart my kingdom by the floorboard’s groan A cellar-dweller, happily alone The sun is a rumor, a story they sell To children who haven't yet built their own hell My pulse is a crawl, a low, patient thing Waiting for the cover that the evening will bring [Pre-Chorus] [Vocals gain a slight edge of anxiety, melody starts to ascend] But I see the cracks in the blackout I made A golden splinter from a sharpened blade And I feel the warmth like a fever that climbs Reminding me of forgotten crimes… or times… [Chorus] [Beat drops hard. Heavy, slow trip-hop groove. Vocals become layered, emotional, and soaring, with an emo-rock sensibility like Hayley Williams] I’m afraid of the light, the way it peels you open Exposing the words that should never be spoken I’m afraid of the sight of my own true face It burns, it burns, it leaves a space Where something better used to be Don’t let it get a look at me [Verse 2] [Music settles back into the sparse, atmospheric groove of Verse 1] [Vocals return to the low, intimate delivery] The daytime folk with their easy smiles They tick their boxes and they walk for miles Beneath the gaze of that oppressive sphere They don't understand the nourishment here This midnight thirst, this different kind of craving It’s not what I’m losing, it’s what I am saving A covenant made with the man in the moon To stay in the wreckage, to stay in the ruin [Pre-Chorus] [Anxiety builds again, faster this time. A distorted synth arpeggio starts faintly] But the birds are starting up their awful tune That means the rising is coming soon, so soon My veins fill with acid, my stomach is churning That terrible, beautiful, world is returning… [Chorus] [Beat drops hard again. Vocals are more desperate, almost a shout] I’m afraid of the light, the way it peels you open Exposing the words that should never be spoken I’m afraid of the sight of my own true face It burns, it burns, it leaves a space Where something better used to be Don’t let it get a look at me! [Bridge] [The beat cuts out, leaving only a dissonant, ringing drone. The mood shifts entirely] [Vocals are a frantic, aggressive, distorted rap, in the style of clipping. or Rage Against the Machine] It feels like a thousand tiny pins on my skin A chemical baptism, where does it begin? It’s rewriting my bones with a script I can’t read Planting a garden with a poisonous weed! They say it’s redemption, they say it’s the cure But the feeling is septic and never feels pure! Was I ever one of them? The photograph denies it A stranger is staring, just daring me to try it! [Outro] [The rap cuts off abruptly. The original trip-hop beat returns, but slower, warped, and fading. A sample of a flickering fluorescent bulb is heard.] [Vocals are ethereal, layered, and haunting, like a ghost in the machine] The morning always comes. The morning always comes. (There's nothing you can do.) It comes for you. (It peels you open.) It comes for you…