[Verse 1 — calm diss] Y’all been yelling “first” like the number’s a crown, One says “001,” one says “151” loud. That ain’t your ID, that’s the species they filed, You flexing shelf position like it makes you worthwhile. Check the trainer data, check the tag on the screen, There’s a whole damn field full of Bulbasaur green. Mew’s one of one, yeah, I’ll give her the flex, So why’s a little god still checking the Dex? If you’re really the source, why care where you’re filed? Pretty insecure for something calling us child. Me? I know better, that’s why I stay chill, I ain’t Ash’s Pikachu, never claimed his skill. He made yellow famous, I just benefit too, That’s called knowing your lane—something strange to you two. You fight over history, bloodlines and rank, I walk in, get noticed, get handed a drink. Why would I stress when the whole room reacts? You two need mythology just to feel like you matter. [Hook — smooth] Go on, keep arguing, I’m enjoying the show, One rooted in dirt, one too ancient to know. You can fight for the title, the source, the debut, I don’t need to be first when they all know Pikachu. Go on, keep talking, keep proving your worth, One claims the beginning, one claims page one first. I’m not chasing a throne, I got nothing to prove, Whole room watching me while I’m watching you two. [Verse 2 — teasing] Bulbasaur, B-B-E, yeah, we heard it enough, Big bulb, big balls, man, that’s cute and all. You got “001” stitched into your pride, But every Bulbasaur got the same damn line. Your story’s actually good, that’s the funniest bit, You guarded your crew, stood your ground, earned your shit. So why ruin the flex with that number-one craze? You had real accomplishments, then hid behind a page. And all that “Mommy,” “Grandma,” talking so slick? Careful with family jokes when you’re throwing that shit. By the way, if you see Ash, tell him this from me: His mom left her bra in the lounge again—my bad, buddy. Relax. I’m kidding. Probably. You guard the garden, I’ll handle the party. Same generation, different kind of game, You grow in the sunlight, I glow in the fame. [Verse 3 — colder] Now Mew, I’ll give you the whole damn claim: Say every Pokémon came from your ancient frame. Every fang, every fin, every feather, every hue, Fine—then everything alive is what improved from you. That’s not a throne, that’s the earliest draft, The first little sketch before the world learned the craft. Species adapted, got sharper, got strange, Found new types, new forms, new ways to change. You stayed the same and disappeared from the scene, While the rest of the world built everything between. Then you float back down talking “mother of all,” Like anybody paused when you stopped taking calls. You hid in the cosmos, we handled the ground, New regions appeared, whole ecosystems found. Nobody sent search teams begging you through, Life kept moving just fine without Mew. So yeah, you’re the source. Cool story. Respect. But a seed ain’t the forest and a sketch ain’t the set. If every mon came from you, here’s the part that stings: Your greatest achievement was becoming other things. [Bridge — stripped] Page one. Page one-fifty-one. Neither one is your name. Check your ID. [Final Verse — amused] Look at you two, still measuring crowns, One counting pages, one tracing blood down. Both need the past just to tell us you’re great, I’d rather make something worth talking about today. Bulba got roots, Mew got family trees, Both writing dissertations nobody asked me to read. You’re proving who started it, who came before who, Like being born earlier somehow makes you cool. You want my verdict? Neither one wins. One’s fighting genetics, one’s fighting the index. Whole battle sounds like two egos confused, Arguing over a title that belongs to neither of you. So keep throwing punches, I’ll clap from the side, Front-row seat with a grin this wide. When you finally decide who’s the oldest or first, Tell me who won— if I’m still giving a fuck. [Final Hook — laid-back] Go on, keep arguing, I’m enjoying the show, One rooted in dirt, one too ancient to know. You can fight for the title, the source, the debut, I don’t need to be first when they all know Pikachu. You can keep all the history, the bloodline, the proof, I’ll keep my own name and stay out of the feud. When you’re done deciding who the universe knew— Come find me somewhere not thinking about you.
