[Title: I Just Believe in Myself] [Intro] ((Detuned piano; low spoken voice)) Do you believe in heaven? Do you believe in hell? Shit… I don't believe in either. I just believe in myself. Don't think I'm God. Don't think I'm a gangster. Just hear me. [Verse 1] ((Low gritty rap; sparse cowbell and heavy bass)) Work boots by the door, dried mud on the sole, Same shirt from yesterday, coffee gone cold. Got a bill on the table that I folded in half, Like making it smaller could make the shit pass. Everybody got a name they wanna pin to my chest, Call me lost when I question, call me weak when I rest. Call me hard when I'm quiet, say I'm cold when I leave— Nobody asks what it costs me to speak. I don't walk into rooms hoping somebody fears me. Half the time I'm just hoping somebody hears me. I ain't got a crew waiting out in the street, Got people at home who need something to eat. And I've fucked up, yeah, said things out of spite, Had to knock on that door, had to make that shit right. If I'm proud of myself, it's because I came back— Looked somebody in the eye instead of dodging the fact. [Pre-Chorus] ((Clean vocal; guitars begin to swell)) You keep asking what I am. I'm still working that out. Let me finish one sentence Before you shut me down. [Chorus] ((Dark melodic belt; full guitars)) Do you believe in heaven? Do you believe in hell? Shit, I don't believe in either— I just believe in myself. I don't think I'm a god. I don't think I'm a gangster. I'm a man with a hard life, Still looking for an answer. Let me think— Let me take my time. I've heard everybody else; Let me hear what's mine. I ain't fearless. I get scared as hell. But when morning comes, I'm betting on myself. [Verse 2] ((Rhythmic rap; drums cut briefly between phrases)) I can talk real big till the rent comes due, Then I'm counting every dollar, wondering what to do. That's the part nobody puts in a song— Waiting on hold with the damn lights on. I don't need another mask, got enough to maintain. Can't keep acting untouched when I'm carrying pain. Some days I'm impatient, some nights I withdraw, Some mornings I hate how I handled it all. So I sit with it, no quick fix for it, No slick little line makes me innocent. If I gave my word, gotta live with it. If I caused that hurt, gotta deal with it. Don't need you agreeing with everything I say. Need a little room to choose my own way. You can keep your belief; this is mine to explain. I won't borrow an answer just to sound the same. I don't know what happens when the last day ends. I know who needs a call, know where I owe amends. Know I got another chance if I get up now— Put my feet on the floor, let the rest work out. [Pre-Chorus] ((Fragile singing; bass fades)) Maybe I don't have an answer That will settle every doubt. But I'm done saying what you want Just to keep you around. [Chorus] ((Full melodic chorus; low harmony)) Do you believe in heaven? Do you believe in hell? Shit, I don't believe in either— I just believe in myself. I don't think I'm a god. I don't think I'm a gangster. I'm a man with a hard life, Still looking for an answer. Let me think— Let me take my time. I've heard everybody else; Let me hear what's mine. I ain't fearless. I get scared as hell. But when morning comes, I'm betting on myself. [Bridge] ((Piano only; intimate spoken delivery)) Believing in myself Doesn't mean I do it alone. I've needed somebody To pick up the phone. I've needed forgiveness. I've needed a ride. I've said, “Can you stay?” When I wanted to hide. ((Voice rises into rough singing)) And I can take your hand Without handing you my life. I can listen to your words And still take time to decide. [Breakdown] ((Halftime guitars; harsh shouted lead)) DON'T CALL ME GOD! DON'T CALL ME SAVED! DON'T CALL ME A GANGSTER— THAT AIN'T MY NAME! I GOT THINGS TO FIX! I GOT BILLS TO PAY! I GOT MY OWN TWO FEET— LET ME FIND MY WAY! ((Beat stops; exposed voice)) I don't need to be larger than life. I need to live mine. [Final Chorus] ((Biggest chorus; clean lead with shouted backing)) Do you believe in heaven? Do you believe in hell? Shit, I don't believe in either— I just believe in myself. I don't think I'm a god. I don't think I'm a gangster. I'm a man with a hard life, Still looking for an answer. Let me think— Let me take my time. I can change my mind tomorrow; Tonight this choice is mine. I ain't fearless. I get scared as hell. But when morning comes, I'm betting on myself. [Outro] ((Cowbell fades; quiet piano and spoken lead)) Work boots by the door. Still mud on the sole. Alarm set for six. Another day to go. No god. No gangster. Just real.
