[INTRO] (Sound of a rusty drawbridge creaking, followed by a sudden, violent slide-whistle) THIS BE THE STORY OF CINDERS FELLA DESPOTS POX GORY—RIEK YENDOR RATS RAH! WHO THANKS THE TORIES IN CREDIBLE SULK PROCESS BEFORE HE’S FORCED TO DO A BUNK! [CHORUS] WELL IF IT PLEASE MALLARD, IT’S TIME TO FLEE DULLARD TO SOUNDS OF ‘CORE BLIMEY’, ENCORE BIN EASTER HEE! HEE HEE! DON’T REMIND ME—ME OF QUESTION TIME SEA OF TEMPESTUOUS STORM YESTERDAY HE WAS BORN! [VERSE 1] LADEN DOWN BY THE FACT HE’LL RISK IMMINENT SACK LIKE STEW PIT HARD BUSTARD IN DEMENT SASS HEN KNACK WHO’LL NOT DARE ANSWER BACK HIS FOE'S VERBOSE ATTACKS ‘SET TOO’ BRUTE FAY SPANKING OF KNIVES IN BACK’S THANKING. HE’S WEIGHED DOWN NO DOUBT BY THE GUILT OF HIS FALSEHOODS ALIGNED WITH ‘FOR ALL’ LIES—NOWHERE NEAR NEIGHBOURHOOD OF THE TRUTH OF HIS LIES, A PLACE HE DOES DESPISE “NOT SAFE THERE!” HE CRIES—“THIS SMACKS OF COKE!” AIN AYE. [VERSE 2] (Tempo increases; sound of a frantic duck quacking) IN Psychedelic SCHISM, INVITES THE FOREIGN SICK ET MUNDANE ON BOARD ‘CHIP ON SHOULDER’ OWNERSHIP WITH INANE UNSOUND QUIPS, MUSHROOMED SPROUTS SHOUTED AS IF HE’S ‘YOU’RE-A-PEEING-SPIT’ THROUGH HIS TREMULOUS LIPS! NO ONE CAN READ IT SEEMS, HE’S ‘FAR TOO FULL OF BEANS’ HIS COARSE REMARKS HE’LL ‘STEER CALMER’ WHEN COAST IS CLEAR AS HE SAYS: “MY GRANTS DO BENEFIT FROM THE POO— POLICIES IN FRONT BENCH WHERE I’M DIGGING TRANCHE TRENCH!" [BRIDGE] (A bland, nasal murmur) SO SKIVE LONG! HANS PROSPERO, FAN DEBASED STRONG AIN ROTTEN RATHER BLAND MURMUR HE UTTERS INANE: "OF VILE ROTHERHAM RUMOURS REMINISCENT - SHAME!" INCANDESCENT 'BLAME TUMOUR' ERUPTS IN HIS BRAIN! “QUACK! QUICK! RAISE THE DRAWBRIDGE MIND SIR! NAIL THE CURTAINS! TRENCH WARFARE QUACK UNFAIR BLINDS! TOO SHUT SHUTTERS HEN! QUACK WAS KEPT IN DARK THUS FIND TRUTH HARD TO EXPLAIN! EVEN JEEPY SIR JERRY QUACK TIS DOC INSANE!” CRIES THIS HARRIED SON OF RICH YORKSHIRE TERRIER AS HINDSIGHT’S ‘DIGGING-A-DITCH’ REAR END DERRY AIR OF THE YEAR—KAY SEES ALDWHYCH’S TAKEN UMBRIDGE CHANCE GOLDILOCKS SHARES HER PORRIDGE THAT, LIKE HIM, IS ‘PANTS’, JUST CAN’T FREE HER FORE BEARS FROM CORRY’S OVAL TEENS DON'T MIND ‘FAR RIGHT FAVA BEANS’ FAVOUR FROM HAS-BEENS! [OUTRO] (A funeral tuba plays against a kazoo version of 'God Save the King') “WHO WELL RED WILL RID ME OF THIS HUGE POX ACCURSED ON BLIGHTY HID IN MOON’S EQUINOX? AS SON OF GOD ROSE ABOVE THIS SNIDE FOX IN HEN HOUSE CRISIS CHEMMY BADDY KNOCKS SPOTS OFF HIM AT DESPATCH ‘WRONG HUNS HOUSE’ BOX?” CRIES CHARLIE BOY—“ALL MUST HEAR POPULI VOX!” AS THE DUCKS BRIGADE IN SAINT JAMES'S PARK ON FACE-SAVING TASK 'QUACK AND BARK' EMBARK 'GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEM SELVES' I'M THUS TOLD SO THIRD RIEK YENDOR RATS RAH'S CAREER'S TOLLED DEATH KNELL'S FUNERAL BELL AS LOUD AS HECK AS HE'S, LIKE PRINCE OF DARKNESS'S, TRULY FECKED HOUNDED OUT BECAUSE OF LACK OF RESPECT FOR LIVES OF HIGHLY VULNERABLE SECTS TRAFFICK KING EPSTEIN'S POOR PEE DOE VICTIMS AND MISLEADING HOUSE WITH SPEWED SICK DICTUMS!
