[Intro] ... [Verse 1 ] Sitting here with the weight of the gun in my hand It's like I don't know what the universe wants, I don't understand I've seen a million possibilities cross my desk But I couldn't hold onto a single one even giving my best I used to love a woman who couldn't return it She had her issues and I used that as an excuse for her shit I spent the next few years worshipping a woman, who would rather I die And now I still can't picture the future without her, No matter how hard I try (oh God I try!) [Pre-Chorus] The weight of it isn't the metal It's everything the metal means Every door I couldn't open Every crack between the seams Every time I gave the best of me To something built on sand And ended up right here With the weight of this gun in my hand [Chorus — cinematic production swelling, the enormity arriving] This is what it feels like When the math stops adding up When you've poured everything you had Into a half empty cup When the person that you loved Was the hand that held you down And you still reach for that hand Even as you were drown..ed This is the room This is the weight This is the moment Between the breath And whatever comes after the breath This is what nobody talks about When they talk about the dark This is where I am Right here [Verse 2] I built a cathedral out of someone else's indifference Called it love because I didn't know the difference Carried every version of her cruelty like a gift Like if I held it long enough The weight would somehow shift I used to think the problem lived inside of me That if I fixed enough of what was broken I'd be free But you can't patch the ceiling of a house That has no floor And I was building Building Building While she walked right out the door And now the room is quiet In the way that rooms get quiet When the only sound left Is the one inside your chest That keeps going Whether you want it to or not (oh and I don’t…not anymore) [Pre-Chorus] The weight of it isn't the metal It's everything the metal means Every door I couldn't open Every crack between the seams Every time I gave the best of me To something built on sand And ended up right here With the weight of this gun in my hand [Chorus] This is what it feels like When the math stops adding up When you've poured everything you had Into a half empty cup When the person that you loved Was the hand that held you down And you still reach for that hand Even as you were drown..ed This is the room This is the weight This is the moment Between the breath And whatever comes after the breath This is what nobody talks about When they talk about the dark This is where I am Right here [Bridge] I don't know whats kept me here I couldn't tell you if you asked Maybe it was nothing more Than the breath that came After the last Not hope Not reason Not the thought of anyone Who needed me to stay Just the next breath Arriving Without asking permission no say The body deciding Before the mind could (I’m still here) [Final section] [Spoken, barely audible] I was still here When the next breath came And the one after that And the one after that I don't know why I'm not going to pretend I know why I'm just going to tell you That the breath kept coming And I let it…maybe that’s all we can do. [Outro] Don't worry I'm fine...
