[Verse 1] It was Saturday morning, cartoons were on, When a knock at the door made me stretch with a yawn. Two men in suits, all serious you know, Asked, “Are your folks home? We’d like to talk about Joe?” [Verse 2] I froze in the doorway, my stomach went tight, They showed up ‘cause my cousin Joe wasn’t right. He’d been skatin’ on trouble since way back when, And now they had proof—this was the end! [Chorus 1] I bet he hijacked a train and crashed through the zoo, Let all the monkeys escape to Peru! Maybe he tunneled right under the bank, And took off in a blimp when the getaway tank sank! He might’ve trained all the raccoons in the park, To pickpocket wallets and steal shopping carts. Or hotwired the mayor’s new limousine, And used it to jump off a trampoline! [Verse 3] I ran to get Dad, all pale in the face, Said, “There’s two men outside and it looks like a case!” He sighed and he asked, “Well, who could it be?” And I said, “It’s Joe’s… uh… Witnesses?” [Chorus 2] They say he robbed a bank dressed like a clown, Then jumped on a horse and rode outta town! He’s smuggled fireworks in the neighbor’s shed, And sold ‘em to kids who were high on bread! He took a jet ski and a giant truck, And tried to race a train but ran outta luck. He rode a unicycle through a fireworks show, While juggling pies and yelling, “Here we go!” [Bridge] Dad glared at ‘em both, but gave me a grin, Then he said, “They’re not here for Joe, go to the TV Tim.” Took out his badge and said, “I’ll count to ten, To get off my land and don’t come back again.” [Verse 4] The door slammed shut, I breathed a sigh, Joe was off the hook—but so was I! As Dad ruffled my hair, he gave me a wink, And I knew I’d be hearing about Joe’s “crimes” for weeks… [Outro] Like when he hijacked a train (and crashed through the zoo) Let all the monkeys (escape to Peru!) They say he robbed a bank (dressed like a clown) Then jumped on a horse (and rode outta town!) Maybe he tunneled (right under the bank) And took off in a blimp (when the getaway tank sank!) Or hotwired the mayor’s new limousine, (And used it to jump off a trampoline!) He rode a unicycle (through a fireworks show) While juggling pies and yelling, “Here we go!”
